Faith

Even If…

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“…We do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter…the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will…but even if He does not…we will not serve your gods…” Daniel 3:16-18 NIV

Did you know self-healing is a false god? The desire to be healed is not wrong but trying to heal ourselves or someone else is. Why? Because there is only one God, one Healer, and He ain’t we.

In January of 2023, I rang in the new year in such a heap of depression that I didn’t eat for three days. On day 3 I realized I had been bombarded with old wounds I thought I had healed from. I was grieving past relationships that had ended a decade prior and those wounds threw me into a deep trench of despair and self-pity. On the third day I snapped out of it, made myself eat and decided I needed to embark on a healing journey that would close all past wounds once and for all. I read a book on control, poured myself into gym workouts and other self-improvements. However, life had other plans and 2023 turned out to be a year of severe heartache, major upheaval and much unknown. By August I was worn out from fighting battles in my own strength. I allowed a root of bitterness to grow but wasn’t even aware of this weed’s existence. I found myself so angry with God that I refused to pray or read a single word from my Bible. I lashed out at friends and at one point believed I was just going to have to heal alone. It would be a year later before I would finally allow God to soften what I had hardened and begin to seek Him and His will once again.

My desire to heal was not wrong. Most likely it was a revelation from God. But instead of allowing God to heal me, I took matters into my own hands. When I embarked on this journey of healing, I naively thought it would only take a self-help book or two, and a few prayers filled with surface-level surrender. From a timeline perspective, I figured this would be just a month or two kind of process and I would finally be freed from these wounds. Those lies led to failure. Here’s where I failed. I trusted in a road map that I created with directions from a false narrative I had written instead of beginning this journey in the posture of prayer, practicing complete stillness and fully surrendering my will to God’s. If ever a year had lessons, 2023 not only shook my faith, it uprooted the mustard seed revealed just how conditional my trust in God was.

I’ve watched many sermons and read many devotions on trusting God even if; even if He doesn’t answer our prayers the way we expect and beg Him to. We are called to worship Him even if He doesn’t come through the way we believed He would. I’ve even heard testimony of others praising God when His answer was “no.” Instead of putting this into practice, when God has told me no or answered my prayers differently than I had planned, I argue, wrestle and give Him the silent treatment. I have even cussed in my prayers and demanded God to say “yes” to whatever it was I was begging of Him to do. In an effort to ward off total unbelief, I would declare a refusal to quit believing in His existence but truth be told, I do quit believing in His goodness and His perfect will. I question every word He has promised all of us and forget that His ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8). Every time hardship arrives, I put my own heart desires before His plan. Instead of saying, “even if”, I worship the false gods named “Doubt”, “Fear” and “Despair.” But there’s another even if I forget also. My God’s love for me never fails, even when my love for and trust in Him does.

What is your even if? What situations or circumstances in your life have shaken your faith, uprooted your mustard seed or turned you away from God? As you read this, I pray it challenges you to two things: 1.) Trust God even if He doesn’t defend or rescue you and 2.) Remember that God loves you even when your love is dependent upon how He intervenes in your life. Today may we all recommit ourselves to trusting, loving and worshipping God, even if…

Just Be “In The Moment”

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“‘For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'” Jeremiah 29:11 AMP

“Something bad is going to happen.”

“I can hope for the best, but I need to plan for the worst”

“What does God have planned for me?”

“Is this God’s plan?”

“This can’t be God’s plan?”

“I’m going to fail God’s plan.”

These are examples of the fearful thinking that overwhelms my mind on a daily basis. A crisis doesn’t need to be present, most days, these thoughts simply hit me out of nowhere. I take anxiety medication to help me function but the medication doesn’t make these thoughts go away. They’re especially present when I believe a God has a specific plan for me but I’ve yet to see it happen. These thoughts emotionally paralyze me when it seems as though what I was believing God for, is never going to happen.

The opposite of fearful thinking is extreme forward thinking. This is a maneuver I rely on as a way to combat the anxiety fearful thinking stirs up. Some would say planning ahead is a good thing and I definitely agree. Having a plan A and even a plan B (that back-up plan in case plan A goes south) is a what some would identify as a form of responsible thinking. However, going further with the creation of plans C – Z is extreme forward thinking. Plans A-Z and beyond have been my mode of operation throughout my adult life.

If you operate in this capacity, you, like me, may also pray fervently for God to not only tell you about His plans, but demand that He reveal them in a specific way. In fact, you may grow impatient with His perceived aloofness, especially when He doesn’t answer you with a mind-blowing revelation as soon as you say “Amen.” You may even try to control how He reveals His plans through various signs, or meditating on scriptures that you think will lead to the answer you’re seeking. This may turn your prayers into demands of a step-by-step action plan that resembles a Gantt chart of your entire life’s events. If you’re unfamiliar with a Gantt chart, it’s a project management tool in Excel that allows the planner to list the action steps needed to deploy a plan, in order of operation, and includes date ranges for each step that establish a timeline allowing the planner to track their progress. If only the Bible was a Gannt chart listing out God’s plans in that kind of format, am I right?

God doesn’t operate with project management tools. He doesn’t use Excel or any kind of software to map out the good work He is doing in our lives, nor does He use Google maps to show us where His plans will lead us. Although He does have a timeline He rarely reveals it to us. Should He give us a timeframe, it’s usually much longer than we would choose if we were the ones making the plans. In fact, I believe God’s timing will never match our concept of timelines.

In May or June of 2022, after believing I heard a specific word from God and that it had come to pass just a few short months after hearing this word, I found myself stressing over the future of this plan. I don’t remember the exact detail I was lamenting over, but I am certain it was a worst-case scenario type of concern. I also remember that I was displaying this level of worry during a conversation with a lifelong friend whom I believed was the answer to the word God had given me a few months earlier. I don’t remember everything this friend said that day, but I do remember one simple sentence he spoke, one sentence that interrupted all that I was fretting over. What was his simple words of wisdom? “Hey-Just be in the moment.” At the time, my brain couldn’t comprehend such a suggestion for a variety of reasons. It would be several months later, with this friend absence from my life, that God would remind me of these same words of wisdom during a commencement ceremony.

In May of 2023, I found myself sitting in an arena surrounded by fellow graduates at various degree levels and friends and family as the audience present to support all of us. I was filled with anticipation of the moment my name would be called, I would walk on stage and receive my masters degree and hooding. If I’m being honest, the anticipation was actually a hyper-focus on that specific moment that would only be a ten second part of a 2-hour ceremony. Focusing on just that blink of an eye moment, was causing to miss everything else that was happening and God knew it. He knew if I had stayed focused on just that moment, due to it being so short lived, I would experience a high level of letdown by the time I returned to my seat. That letdown would lead to missing the inexplicable joy that I felt when the ceremony ended with bursts of royal blue confetti and a powerful song of praise that left me feeling like a character in the happy ending of a pop culture musical. Amidst all the noise of echoed speeches and celebratory music blaring from the speakers, I heard God whisper, “Just be in the moment”- it was a whisper that not only reminded me of a friend I was missing but beautiful words of wisdom I needed at that exact moment. I am grateful to have heard His whisper that day and for redirecting my thoughts to each moment of that celebration. I had no idea that only a few weeks later, God’s plans would include spending the remainder of 2023 living moment to moment dealing with an unexpected life-threatening illness, false legal allegations, and uprooting my entire home to relocate to a new city.

Did you know that God spoke Jeremiah 29:11 when the Israelites’ circumstances were the complete opposite of good? They were in captivity and in Jeremiah 28, God told them they would have to wait seventy years before He would set them free. God revealed part of His plan for them and gave them a timeline but He didn’t reveal what would transpire in the seventy years of hardship they would endure. He simply reminded them that He knows the plans, they didn’t need to. The plans were good, but not given in detail. Although it didn’t look like it where they currently were, they had a future and they could hope in His word.

Yesterday God used this verse in my own life after hearing a young woman’s testimony that included clinging to Jeremiah 29:11 after the death of her brother. At a young age, this girl learned that life’s circumstances can be downright heartbreaking but God’s plans are still good no matter what is happening around us. God embedded this verse deeper when I came across a sermon on YouTube that centered around this very piece of scripture. As I listened to the teachings I couldn’t help but be reminded of that simple wisdom from a friend just three years ago. This time it came from a personal story the speaker shared. The story was about the moment this speaker found himself present in an arena for spiritual conference and God reminding him of something he had drawn in his prayer journal 45 years earlier. The drawing was a picture of a basketball court with a X just left or right of center court. At the time of the drawing, this man worked for a professional basketball chain on that very court. His job was not specific to ministry by any means. He had no idea that not only would God lead Him to starting a church when he was 50-years-old but that God’s plans would bring him back to the same basketball arena, 45 years later, sitting left or right of center court, but this time as a renown Christian leader and speaker of that very conference. God gave him a glimpse of His plans but didn’t show Him the whole picture until four and a half decades later. Isn’t uncanny how God can use a story of loss and a story of again to teach us a simple truth in one well quoted but often times, misunderstood scripture?

God has plans for me and you. His plans are good, they include hope and a future. But He’s not telling us what those plans are nor does He want us hyper focused on figuring those plans out. God wants us to trust Him in all circumstances. In fact, He instructs to do so in Philippians 4:6; Be anxious for nothing but in all circumstances, present your requests to God (paraphrased). Extreme forward thinking not only leads to anxious thoughts, it puts us in the driver seat and God in the backseat. It’s also an act of distrusting His plans. If you’re struggling with believing in God’s plans, I want to encourage you today to, delete the “project planner” you created for your life, blindly trust in Him, believe that He knows the plans He has for you, and just focus on the moment He has you in right now, today. In other words friend, stop stressing over God’s plans and Hey-just be in the moment today.

Not a “Hallmark Movie” Easter Message

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“Jesus replied, ‘You do not understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” John 13:7

About a month ago my car developed a rough idle. I made an appointment with the mechanic and received what I dreaded hearing-my car would need a $462 repair. I had just had it in the shop at the beginning of the year for a $600 brake job and was not looking forward to another repair expense so soon after the first one. Fortunately, my vehicle was still drivable, so I decided to wait until after my business trip to Chicago that I had to take in early April before scheduling the repair.

One week prior to the repair, while pulling into a grocery store parking lot, I heard a pop and hissing sound. I thought I had run over something and punctured a tire but didn’t hear any hissing when I shut the engine off and had exited my vehicle. I thought perhaps it was fluke, commenced with my shopping and then drove home. The hissing, however, was once again noticeable when I pulled into my driveway. Anxiety overtook my overthinking brain as I began to wonder what else was wrong and how much the additional repair would cost me. I had someone come to my house and diagnose the engine hissing the problem. I googled what suspension issues cause a shimmy and what the estimated cost of repairs could be because my vehicle was also experiencing some shaking when I reached certain speeds. I cancelled all plans that involved extra spending or extra driving that week and even considered just parking my car and walking everywhere. If we hadn’t had freezing rain/snow predicted for weather that week I probably would’ve chosen walking as my mode of transportation.

This past Friday I took my car in for repairs. I told the mechanic about the additional concerns and asked him to give me a quote for it all before he started any repairs. I left my vehicle at the shop and walked home. That was at 10:00 in the morning. At 1:00 in the afternoon, I called to check on the status of my vehicle. I learned they were running behind and hadn’t even looked at it yet. I thought to myself, “Great! Now I have to wait longer to know how much this is going to cost and who knows if my car will even get fixed today.” Three more hours went by and called again. Not only was my vehicle fixed but guess what the final bill of sale was…TWENTY DOLLARS! Remember that hissing sound coming from the engine that started one week earlier? What I thought was going to be an additional repair/expense, turned out to be the whole problem. I had been praying and asking God’s help over this situation but what did I ask for? Well, I only ask God to provide what my budget would not be able to cover. What did He do instead? He revealed the whole problem with one simple fix and saved me $442!

Today is Easter Sunday. For the next 24 hours, my social media is going to be flooded with photos of families in matching “church” outfits, gatherings centered around ham dinners and easter egg hunts, and “He is Risen!” posts. Churches all over the world will be preaching on Christ’s resurrection, some with smoke-filled theatrical reenactments of a stone rolling away and a boisterous choir or worship team belting out “UP FROM THE GRAVE HE AROSE…” Salvation and Christ conquering death will be the ultimate takeaways preachers will hope their flocks glean from today’s sermons. But what if Christ’s death and resurrection includes a message we are missing? What if there is an additional lesson we need to learn from Holy Week and especially from Resurrection Sunday?

Jesus’ disciples walked with him for three years and knew Him more intimately than any of His followers and probably even more than Jesus’ own mother. Yet, Jesus warned His disciples of His impending crucifixion, and they did not comprehend what He actually meant. Peter even tried to prevent Jesus from being arrested, and instead of his best friend who was under attack joining the fight, He stopped Peter and call him “satan.” Jesus preached salvation through death and resurrection before He was ever arrested, beaten and killed and although His followers believed He was God’s son, none of them understood that He was actually going to die and rise again three days later. The Old Testament prophesies about the Savior and gives hints to the people of that day of God’s ultimate plan for redemption, yet God’s chosen also could not fathom the events that actually occurred.

But then again, isn’t the Bible filled with examples of how God speaks or gives a promise, skips the details on when or how He will fulfill that promise and humans create their plans of just how that promise will be fulfilled? When the angel told Mary she would give birth to the Savior, that angel left out the gory details of what her son would endure or that His life would be the ultimate sacrifice that redeemed everyone. God told Abraham He would be the father of all nations, yet Abraham’s wife was barren and although God gave Abraham two sons, one of which was not a part of His original promise, yet Abraham never lived to see the full extent of God’s promise. God told Joseph he would govern over his brothers, but complete opposite happened first. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery; he ended up falsely accused of a crime he did not commit and imprisoned for about 14 years. It was while he was in prison, that God fulfilled the promise He had given Joseph, in a dream, so long ago. Joseph interprets Pharoah’s dream, gets released from prison and becomes second in command. God uses Joseph’s leadership promotion to not only save Joseph’s family but also sustain an entire nation during a severe famine. God didn’t give Mary, Abraham or Joseph all the details. He just gave them a promise and expected them to trust Him without knowing how He would deliver on those promises.

Today, as you celebrate Christ’s resurrection, take time to reflect on the ways how God has redeemed your life, your circumstances or saved your family. How has His ways exceeded all of the ways you thought He would do it? Don’t be surprised if He gives you a promise and then allows really hard circumstances that look like the complete opposite as the catalyst for keeping His word. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us of God’s plans for our lives being good and His promise of a hope-filled future. But Romans 8:28 reminds us that God uses all things including, stressful, painful or circumstances we did not ask for or can humanly comprehend, for our good and His glory.

Although the salvation story and Christ conquering death are the most important takeaways one should glean on Easter Sunday, Jesus’ ministry, death and rising from the dead should also remind us that we do not serve a Hallmark movie kind of God. Our faith walk is not based on a meet-cute of God’s promise, some minor interference or unexpected plot-twist and human predictable happy endings. No, we serve a God whose ways are much higher than ours and whose deeds are beyond human comprehension. If anything, our faith walk can resemble a Lifetime Movie Network original complete with our personal Judases and Job-like experiences that include plot twists packed with betrayals and losses of people or things that can never be replaced. We pray, we believe, we fast and then the opposite happens. We experience crises or even tragedies we simply do not understand. When question what the hell God is doing, He gives us a John 13:7 answer. We are not meant to understand what He is doing while we are in the fiery furnace or lion’s den situation. It is only later, with no exact timeline of when later will be, where God will give us the details needed to grasp or comprehend what God is doing in the right now.

In spite of all the mystery and unknown, we should never cease to pray or ask God for help, to intercede on behalf of our families and to believe that God will restore what the enemy has stolen from us. What should we cease doing? Expecting God to deliver on His promises in quick, easy, nontraumatic, simplistic kinds of way. Keep standing on God’s promise He gave you and trust Him to answer, when He deems the time is right and in the very way He knows is the absolute best way. Even if it feels He is crushing you right now, He will never fail you or fail to keep His word for you and your family.

You Just Need a Little Faith (the Size of a Mustard Seed to be Exact!)

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“I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move; and nothing will be impossible.” Matthew 17:20-21 NLT

Can I be raw with you right now? I am struggling with taking God at His word. At the beginning of this year I entered into a period of prayer and fasting. Each week I asked the Lord for a specific word to pray over various circumstances in my life and the lives of my closest friends/family. Each week He faithfully delivered. For seven weeks I prayed for breakthroughs, healing, delivery (of answers/direction), breaking (of chains, strongholds and soul ties), repentance, protection, surrender and of course, victory. I watched sermons about fasting and felt encouraged everytime the preacher vowed that fasting moved mountains and made the Jericho like walls fall down. By the end of my fast I felt I had grown deeper in my faith, fully surrendered to God’s ability to answer my prayers and trusting Him to do it in His time and in His way. But since ending the fast I have felt far away from God. In fact, since the last day of the fast, I found myself fighting battles in the flesh once again.

Fighting in the flesh has led me to ask God, “Where did my “big” faith go?” and “Did I just throw away all the prayers I exhausted by doubting Him now?” God’s answers to these questions came through the story of Ruth and scripture about faith the size of a mustard seed. I had frequently came across Matthew 17:20-21. I een purchased a bracelet with the verse on it. A mustard seed charm hung from the bracelet also but fell off about a month after I began wearing it. On my desk sits a small clear jar, no taller than one inch with a corked top. Inside it lies one tiny mustard seed. I look at it daily-especially in those moments that doubt and worry rear their ugly heads into my heart and mind. The seed is a reminder to take God at His word and trust in Him with all my heart, leaning not on my own understanding. But every day I wrestle with doubt and fear. I even visited a church one Sunday where the Pastor preached on faith and if you guessed that he used Matthew 17:20-21 in his sermon, you guessed correctly. With hearing this passage so many times, you would think it would have taken root, but a bigger root, that of rejection, that had been growing since I was just a toddler, had blocked any spiritual roots of faith from taking hold of me.

Toward the end of February, a lifetime friend invited me to join an online Bible study on the book of Ruth. Personally, I struggle with Ruth’s story because I believe, if misinterpreted, it can easily create a fantasy love story, especially for the single soul who believes love only comes through a romantic relationship or marriage. But I’ve never participated in a study with this friend so I happily accepted and ordered the workbook. The study inronically began on March 6th, the Monday after a very difficult weekend where a heap of angry feelings and bitterness emerged and I spent two days crying and yelling at God. Talk about perfect timing. I’m now three weeks into this study, seeing a whole new perspective of Ruth’s story. Ruth isn’t just a love story. Ruth and Naomi’s story is God answers our prayers and redeeming us, even after we grow about bitter and doubt His goodness. It’s also a reminder that what God ordains, He will make happen, even if we temporarily step out of His will and spend a few years walking in our own way.

I’ve read the book of Ruth multiple times and am thankful for these new discoveries. They include:

1.) Naomi and her family disobeyed God’s warning to His people to stay out of Moab. They moved there after a famine hit their hometown. However, Moab is where Ruth becomes a part of Naomi’s family. She marries one of Naomi’s sons. After losing her husband and both sons, and hearing the famine had ended, Naomi decides to return home. She urges her daughters-in-law to stay in their homeland but Ruth insists on going with Naomi. In her plea, she tells Naomi this: “your God shall be my God.” Although Moab was a place filled with false gods, somehow Ruth knew about the One true God. This leads me to believe that Naomi and her family moved to a place that did honor God, but must’ve continued to worship Him and shared their faith with Ruth also. This faith is what led to Ruth’s devotion to Naomi, even in spite of Naomi’s bittered grieving heart, and to the perseverance in Ruth to find work and care for both her mother-in-law and herself.

2.) God ordained Ruth and Boaz to marry in order to continue His bloodline, yet Naomi met Ruth in Moab-the very place God had forbidden His people to go. Instead of God sending Ruth to Naomi’s home country, Ruth meets God in her place of sin-a place where she most likely grew up worshipping many false gods. This should encourage us that God in our places of sin also and leads us out of the places and back to Him. He only asks us to surrender to cling to Him and obediently say, “where You go, I will go, Abba.” (Ruth 1:16)

3.) Ruth happened upon Boaz’s field (Ruth 2:3). Nowhere do we read that God instructed Ruth to go find work or travel to a specific wheat field. In fact, no where in the book of Ruth will you read that God audibly or spiritually spoke to Ruth, Naomi or Boaz. From a human perspective, Ruth’s story could be chalked up to happenstance and sheer luck. But God was acting, without audibly directing. Perhaps, knowing Ruth and Naomi’s obedient hearts, He didn’t have to direct them as much as He did with Abraham and Moses. Whether we hear God or not, He is acting on our behalf. Circumstances in our lives will change either through His audible direction, or through His divine intervention that looks more like events just suddenly “happened.”

3.) Naomi and her family left their homeland because they doubted God’s provision. After losing her husband and two sons, she returns home, bitter and believing that God was punishing her. Yet her joy was restored when she remembers Boaz is a kinsman redeemer. Her faith was renewed when Ruth gave birth to Obed. Naomi’s faith was based on her circumstances yet even in Her bitterness, I believe she still had faith the size of a mustard seed. In spite of her doubting God’s goodness and not trusting His perfect ways, , God used Naomi as an interceptor for His will and redeemed both her and Ruth.

It’s been 23 days since I completed fasting. Everyday is a struggle to not only remember the things God spoke to me during the fast, but to keep the faith that God always keeps His word. Times when I focus on what is seen instead of focusing on what is unseen bring about the worst feelings. Every day I find myself combatting the lies of the enemy through prayer and confession. I don’t fight my fears, I confess them to the Lord. He already knows the thoughts are there and the feelings are consuming me. Failure to confess them isn’t hiding anything from Him. Failure to confess is only lying to myself.

I beg for a word from Him daily. Some days He answers, other days He does not. On the days He seems silent, I have to remind myself to go back to the last word He gave me and cling to that message until He speaks again. Of the four areas in my own life that I fasted for, 23 days post fasting, none of the circumstances have changed. In fact, none of the circumstances of my friends and family that I prayed and fasted for have changed. Some have even worsened or grown more dire than before I began fasting. But I know God is faithful and is moving in each area and in each family, including my own.

When I lose my grip on the foundation of hope God called me to stand on, when I stumble or fall, and especially when I grow a root of bitterness, God doesn’t punish me. He helps me up, and helps me to stand firm on His solid ground once again. When I want to be my own interceptor, and manufacture miracles on my timeline instead of waiting on God, He gently asks me to surrender and reminds me that He is fighting these battles for me. How does this control freak surrender? With faith the size of a mustard seed-the tiniest inkling that holds enough power to move me to die to self daily, take up His cross and do life His way. If you’re struggling with trusting God, may this reading encourage you to know that God doesn’t expect you to have “big faith.” He calls you to take Him at His word and to have a little faith, the size of a mustard seed to be exact.

Gird Up or Armor Up, It’s Time to Suit Up!

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“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Ephesians 6:11 NIV

A giant poster of a kneeling football player with the face of Jesus looking down on him, hangs in my home. At the top of the poster are the words “Always with you.” I bought this poster in 2021. It hangs in my bedroom, where not all who enters my home can see it, but I am able to see it every day. It’s positioned in a place where, when needed, I can sit in front of it and pray, as if I am sitting at the very feet of Jesus. When I look at it, I am reminded of a few of certainties: God is always with me and He is always fighting for my family. It also reminds me of the war the enemy has waged against all of us and the best way we can protect ourselves is by putting on the full armor of God.

If you’re familiar with American football, you’re aware of the physical battle the game entails. Two teams go head to head vying to move a somewhat egg shaped ball into the end zone to outscore their opponent. If you’re on offense, your job is to protect those who are handling the ball by blocking the opponent. If you’re the ball handler, your job is to trust your teammates are protecting your blindside so you can move the ball out of the enemy’s way. If you’re on defense, your job is to tackle the ball handler and/or attack the opponent’s blindside. No matter which side of the line you’re on, if you’re on the field, you’re playing a game that consists of hard hits and getting taken to the ground. In an effort to prevent injury, players are provided gear that protects vital areas of their bodies. They’re required to wear a helmet, mouth guard and shield to protect their heads, teeth and face. They don padding across their shoulders and chest area that protects their back, neck and sternum. Hip and thigh pads are added to their uniform pants as protection from dislocation, broken bones and/or getting cut. No matter how girded these players are, injuries can still occur. When it happens, players are taken out of the game until they have recovered and are cleared to play again.

The Bible tells Christians about a different protective gear. This gear is not only essential but necessary when dealing with spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare is not a battle in the flesh and blood but occurs in a spiritual realm. It’s a battle for our souls, for our families, for our peace of mind and ultimately, for our lives. Although we may be able to identify a few human enemies in our world, the Bible continuously reminds of a universal enemy. Everyday we are at war and our enemy is invisible. That enemy strives daily to destroy every purpose and plan God designed for us. That enemy even has assignments over us that are centered around keeping us from living our God-given callings. Because we are a hunted people, God calls us to put on His armor daily in order to be protected against the ultimate predator. Although football padding doesn’t fully protect from injury, God guarantees victory everytime we suit up in His armor.

When it comes to the ideology of warfare, Sun Tzu tells his readers this: “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” (The Art of War, 2010, Capstone Publishing) This can look like immobilizing the enemy before they attack or using the power of intimidation to push the enemy away. The Bible, however, tells readers that we are already at war and that we need to dress and arm ourselves for the enemy’s attacks. This is evident in Ephesians chapter 6 beginning with verse 11: “Put on the armor of God…” Throughout the next section of verses, Paul, the author of Ephesians, tells readers exactly what we need to wear. The full armor of God consists of a helmet of salvation, a breastplate of righteousness, a belt of truth, and shoes fitted for the readiness of peace. We are also instructed to carry the sword of the spirit and the shield of faith. Actually, a few translations say “take up” or “hold up” the shield of faith but does the wording make that much difference? I think so.

To carry something, you hold it in your arms or dangle it from your hands. To take up or hold up something you place it firmly in front of you as a preventative measure, similar to a stiff-arm position in football. In an effort to defend against a tackle, a wide receiver may carry the football in his arms but hold up his other arm, directly in front of his opponent. With his hand up and palm open in a “stop” position, the ball carrier is ready to block his enemy. In the same way, when we hold up our shields of faith, we block the devil from every fiery arrow he has aimed at us and our families. Afterall, faith is the our greatest defense against one of the enemy’s best weapons which is disbelief.

It’s one thing to know what to wear, and the weapons to arm ourselves with. It means something different, hopefully something more, when we understand the necessity of both and how to position ourselves for battle. The first piece of God’s armor mentioned in Ephesians chapter six is interestingly, not head gear or shoulder pads. It’s the belt of truth. Now I don’t know about you but when I’m getting dressed, my belt is typically the last thing I put on. Keep in mind, this armor is protective gear worn over one’s clothing, so it’s assumed you’re already dressed. Nonetheless, when suiting up, I don’t think I’d put the belt on first. So why does Paul tell his readers to belt up in truth first? Because he knows the enemy’s first attack typically comes in the form of a lie or some other falsehood.

To combat any lie of the enemy we must be girded in God’s truth. John 8:32 tells us when we know the truth, we will be set free. John 14:6 says Jesus is the truth and John 16:13 assures us that when the spirit of truth speaks to us, it’s not of his own words but what God has told Him to say. Just as a belt is made to hold up a pair of pants, the belt of truth holds us up and keeps us from buckling under the enemy’s lies. In Roman soldier times, the belt was the first article put on because “it held everything else together.” (Brown, G., 2016, https://bible.org/seriespage/23-belt-truth-and-breastplate-righteousness) God’s truth holds everything spiritually together also.

The second piece of armor mentioned is the breastplate of righteousness. A breastplate is made to protect the chest, heart and lungs. These organs are vital to our very existence. Puncture a lung or experience heart failure and doctors have only a few short minutes to repair the damage/get the heart pumping before you’re dead. In the spiritual realm, the enemy attacks this area through our emotions. Ever experience an emotional pain that left you unable to catch your breath or walk through circumstances where you physically felt your heart breaking? It’s an indescribable pain in your chest, a combination of an endless ache mixed with the sharpness of muscle tearing as if the circumstance is literally ripping your heart in half. Then there’s the paralyzing pressure of the enemy’s grip on your heart, squeezing tightly in an attempt to slowly crush it. Something that gets ripped in half is a lot easier to repair than something that gets crushed. Thus, feeling as though your heart is being crushed can invoke a cycle of high anxiety, chest pain and shortness of breath. This means, if we aren’t wearing a breastplate of righteousness, spiritual warfare can come in the form of emotional and physical ailments and they tend to target our most vulnerable and necessary organs.

Now, let’s talk about the helmet of salvation. This piece of armor resonates with me the most. Why? Because I am an overthinker and since a helmet is designed to protect the brain, the helmet of salvation is adorned to protect our thoughts. Just as our brains literally tell the rest of our bodies what to do, our thoughts direct our actions too. A helmet of salvation blocks the enemy from our minds. Confusion attacks when life’s storms blindside us. If we don’t guard our thoughts with the helmet of salvation, our minds will spiral and life altering decisions can be made that bring us no peace but only take us deeper into a world of darkness and confusion. We cannot control every thought that enters our mind but we do not have to entertain, believe or act on every thought either. We should test every thought by comparing it to God’s word. If it aligns with scripture, it is probably from God. If it does not, it’s definitely not from God. In case you’re wondering how to decipher your thoughts better, I believe 99% of our thoughts will either be from the enemy or our own humanness, not from God. God speaks to our spirits, not our heads.

Although Paul doesn’t mention this in Ephesians six , I believe there is one more essential piece of armor. I call it the mouth guard of trust. Our words hold more power than we know. If we speak of despair and insecurity, we will inevitably stir up both inside and around us. Don’t believe me, think of how emotionally draining it is to be around someone who is constantly complaining or speaking doomsday negativity all the time. If we speak God’s truth, we will be able to stand firm against every scheme of the enemy. This is where trust comes in to play. Have you ever felt like you were walking in God’s leading, praising Him for answered prayer only to be blindsided and have the very thing you prayed for ripped away suddenly? If you’re like me, you feel devastated and question if you even heard God correctly. Maybe you beg for God to restore it, or at least explain to you what in the world He is doing only to hear Him say, “Trust in me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Trust is something I have always struggled with. Over the past several weeks, through Proverbs 3:5, God has revealed something to me regarding trust. God doesn’t call us to just trust Him. He calls us to trust Him with all of our hearts. Trusting with all your heart means posturing your own will in full surrender to God’s will because you trust His will is better than your own. This is neither easy nor natural. Especially if, like me, you prefer to be in the driver seat of your life. Trusting God with all our hearts is the equivalent of Peter getting out of the boat and believing he could walk on water. I’m just gonna get real for one minute and tell you that I have no intentions of trying to walk on water. I’m learning to trust God with all my heart, but walking on water was Peter’s gig and possibly not meant for all of us. So if ever there was a “don’t try this at home” disclaimer in any of these posts, it would be right now. Please don’t try walking on water as your method in trusting God with all your heart. Instead, simply pray, “God, I surrender. I trust You, I trust Your ways and I trust Your timing. Even when I don’t know what You’re doing and nothing makes sense, I will still choose to trust You.”

The enemy has waged a war on our lives and our families. It’s time to suit up and put on God’s armor. We have to gird our waists with the belt of truth, guard our hearts with the breast plate of righteousness and protect our minds with the helmet of salvation. To stand firm against all the devil’s strategies (Ephesians 6:11), we must also guard our mouths by speaking our trust in God out loud. We must arm ourselves with the sword of the spirit (God’s word) and take up our shields of faith. For it is faith that heals us and sets us free. Sun Tzu suggests avoiding battles altogether, but God says, the war is already on and already won. Not every battle is ours to fight. Exodus 14:14 is a reminder that God fights for us and we need only be still. He may not call us to fight every battle, but He does call us to put on our armor and prepare for battle daily. Are you willing to do that for your life and your family? I hope so, because whether you want to fight or not, you’re already standing on the gridiron of a battle field.

A Tornado in a Trailer Park Kind of Faith

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He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.”

Mark 4:39

“You are the trailer park, I am the tornado.” (Yellowstone, 2021, Paramount Network) If you’re familiar with this TV show, then you probably can recall the scene this quote is from. It takes place in season three. This was Beth Dutton’s response to a man named Roarke, after he asks her if she is up for a fight and proceeds to tell her she’s wrong to think she can win. Instead of cowering to this man’s gaslighting tactic, Beth Dutton looks him square in the eye and says, “Right back at ya” and finishes with the tornado line. To this remark, the man turns and walks out of the establishment where this verbal sparring had occurred. This four minute conversation was centered around this man threatening what was most valuable to Beth and her family, land that her family’s entire existence is centered around.

As I rewatched this scene I couldn’t help but liken it to a conversation between the devil and us. If you’re a Christian, you already know that the devil comes to seek and destroy. He studies our weaknesses and attacks us when we least expect it. If he is unsuccessful, he will attack everything/everyone that is precious to us. He is a constant threat to us and to everything/everyone we value the most. Have you drawn closer to God recently only to have chaos ensue or watch a close family member/friend get hit with a major setback or struggle? As you become a mighty prayer warrior, do you find your life getting easier or harder? When you fast, do you get the answers you were praying for, or does the complete opposite seem to happen? For me, it’s the latter to all of these questions. The closer I draw to God, the more I work to grow my faith and dependency on Him, the worse life gets, for me and the ones I love most. I have 47 years of examples I could list, but if I did, this post would turn into a chapter book that read like a pity party. Instead, I’ll just admit that being hit hard and knocked down by the devil, every time I have turned back to God, has challenged my ability to trust God and even question His plans for my family and me. The firmer I dig my heels into faith, the harder I try to deepen my roots in Jesus, the harder the enemy hits also.

When the disciples decided to follow Jesus, I wonder what they thought their lives would be like. If I were walking, in person, with the son of God, fully knowing that He picked me to be on His team, I would have felt invincible and probably a bit prideful. I would’ve taken Psalm 118 verse 6 to an arrogant level. Someone mock Jesus in front of me? Watch out because God is on my side so what could the mocker possibly do to me? Well if you’re familiar with Jesus’ and Peter’s crucifixions, as well as the number of times many of the disciples were imprisoned for their ministry, I would say, our enemy can and does do a lot to harm us and our families. The bigger a threat to him that we are, the harder he fights to interfere with God’s plan and purpose for us. When God calls us to step out or move in faith, even when He asks for faith the size of a mustard seed, He does not call us into a faith that arrogantly believes, but to a faith that is fearless in believing.

Although the disciples believed Jesus was the Messiah, they doubted Him over and over again. This is evident in not one but at least two different storms they find themselves in while in a boat out to sea. The first storm is in Matthew chapter 8. It occurs after Jesus and the disciples have left a large gathering and are traveling by boat to their next endeavor. The storm happens upon them suddenly and while the disciples go into panic mode, Jesus is asleep. The storm doesn’t wake Him up. Frightened disciples do. If you’ve ever been on a boat during a storm, you know how tumultuous the experience can be. The boat and all it is carrying, including its passengers are tossed to and fro. But Jesus was not bothered by the din or thrashing movement of the storm.

The disciples’ doubt and professed lie is what woke Jesus. Professed lie you ask? How did the disciples lie? When they woke Jesus, they yelled; “Lord save us! We’re going to drown!” (Matthew 8:25 NIV) They did not say, they feared they might drown, they professed that they were in fact going to drown. It’s one thing to profess things we fear might happen, it’s another to believe our fears will happen. Followers of Christ, with Jesus physically with them, at the first sign of trouble, believed they were going to die. It’s no wonder some of us have so little faith when life storms disrupt our lives. I wonder how quickly we get God’s attention when we speak lies of defeat into our circumstances? Unfortunately, fear and doubt can be so noisy and consuming that we cannot hear Him rebuke the enemy,

When Jesus awoke, how did He respond? With a calm assurance that told the disciples, “I’ve got this.” Jesus rebuked the storm and mother nature quieted right down. He then asked His disciples why they were so afraid? Where was their faith? But the disciples don’t answer Him, they just marvel at what had just happened and question who He was. They witnessed Jesus perform many miracles firsthand, and yet they still did not always believe.

The first four books of the New Testament give four accounts of Jesus calming a storm. Three of those accounts have similar details, which makes me believe Matthew, Mark and Luke are all recounting the same experience just through a different lens. Interestingly, where Matthew and Luke declare death upon them all, Mark asks Jesus’ this question: “Don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38b). Questioning God’s love for us is another natural response to fear and doubt. When we are in crisis mode, it’s easy to panic and not only doubt God’s deliverance but question His care for us also. After all, if we interpret Jeremiah 29:11 literally, then we presume only good and prosperous things come from God. So if life (or the devil) is throwing some pretty heavy and hard stuff at you or your family, it must not be from God, right? If you can’t see or feel His presence and especially if it feels He is just asleep or silent, it’s natural to ask Him if He even cares about what’s happening. But in each instance, Jesus rebukes not only the storm, He also rebukes the disciples’ lack of faith. It’s almost as if He is saying, “Why are you so rattled? Did you forget who I am? Have you no faith at all?”

John’s account of a storm is slightly different than the other three. Jesus was already in the boat in Matthew, Mark and Luke’s stories. But in John chapter 6, we read that Jesus was not with the disciples when they got hit by a storm at sea. It also happens at night whereas there is one mention of the other storm occurring during the day. When the high wind begins to blow, we don’t read that the disciples called out to Him or professed death over their situation. Instead we read that after they rowed three to four miles, Jesus approached them. How you might ask? He was walking on the water. Once again, the disciples are afraid. But this time, it’s not the wind and waves that scare them, it’s the sight of Jesus walking on water. Still lacking faith in His power, they actually think Jesus is a ghost. They have already seen Him perform so many miracles, yet in their humanness they cannot fathom He would have the ability to walk on water too. Isn’t that true in our own lives? How many times have we seen God move mighty mountains over our circumstances and yet, when He shows up again, we doubt it’s really His hand working? How many times have we given someone else the credit including ourselves because we doubted God would actually come through. Notice the disciples didn’t even cry out for Him this time. They tried rowing themselves out of this storm. How many times has doubt led each of us to say,” God’s not showing up this time, I’m just gonna have to handle this on my own.”? How many storms does God have to rescue us from before we fight our natural instinct to doubt and fear and instead develop a habit of just believing?

Thankfully, Jesus’s response in John chapter 6 can encourage us that even when we doubt that He is not with us, He shows up and says, ““It is I; don’t be afraid.” (verse 20) Just as the disciples were willing to let Jesus in their boat and they were immediately delivered to the land they were traveling to, God promises to deliver us too. Once we let Jesus into our circumstances and believe He will calm the storms of life in His time and in His way, He will take us exactly to the places He wants us and our families to be. Although He delivered the disciples immediately, God’s deliverance in our life storms are seldom instantaneous. So don’t lose heart when you invite Him into your circumstances but they don’t change right away or inevitably get worse before He makes them better. Keep in mind also, that Jesus’ only demand is that we be not afraid and just believe. If you’re wrestling with the crashing waves of fear and doubt, I encourage you to rebuke this in Jesus’ name, call out to God Himself to save you and your family. Invite Him into your circumstances and trust that He will, in His time, rebuke the enemy’s hold on your family, saying “Enough! Be still!”

In the mean time fight your battles through prayer. As you pray, when the devil asks if you’re up to the fight and tries to tell you that you can’t defeat him,, tap into the Beth Dutton depth of your faith and tell the devil he is the trailer park and you are the tornado. Should fear and doubt still try to over take you, as they did to Dorothy, when, in The Wizard of Oz, her entire house was caught up in a tornado (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/MGM, 1939), hold on to your faith, and cling to Jesus, for He is holding on to you and your family throughout every inch of these storms. Always remember, when we walk by faith, not by sight, and the devil rages an ugly storm, we can fearlessly look the devil square in the eye and say, “You are the trailer park, I and my God are the tornadoes!”

Total Transformation

/ LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun” 2 Corinthians 5:17

I have been on a roller coaster of a journey for several years that consisted of short highs and long seasons of lows. Last year was a major turn around for me both career wise and financially. This year I took my health back. I also am practicing walking in full surrender to His will and His ways. I still have shortcomings and a whole lot of “me” mentality to work on but it’s amazing what a little discipline, a lot of faith, full surrender and breakthroughs in prayer can do in a short time span!

Here’s a before and after of me in the same dress, two and half years apart. The 30 pound difference is a combination of Weight Watchers and letting go of heavy burdens, including forgiving my enemies. One day before my 44th birthday, I feel more free and joyful than I ever have. All glory to God for it is because of Him that I am a new creation!

Crickets? Crikey!

/ LeahDawnRoot29 / 1 Comment
‘For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  Do not be afraid, for I myself will help you,’ declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.” ~ Isaiah 41:13-14
When I was a young girl my mom sang in the church choir. She would have choir practice at the church one evening per week. While she was practicing, I was left with the other kids to entertain ourselves. This usually involved a lot of running, going places around the church we weren’t allowed in and being very noisy. We were hollered at repeatedly. Sometimes, when our behavior was too disruptive, we would have to sit in a pew and observe the entire practice. Being a high energy 10-year-old forced to sit still and be quiet was challenging, boring and downright awful. Considering I was benched on a church pew a handful of times I wasn’t only hyperactive and noisy, I was also a slow learner.
One particular cause for disruption was centered around crickets. During certain times of the year, the sidewalks and other areas of the church had an abundance of the big black yucky jumping beasts. By big I mean they were probably 1 inch in size! But let’s be real-that is BIG for a bug, right?!
I have no idea who devised the evil plan but at some point during cricket season the boys in our group decided throwing these bugs at us girls would be their source of entertainment for the evening. Each girl scream prompted boy laughter. It became a disruptive cycle that was definitely heard over the church organ and choir vocals. It was also an event that got some of us, including myself, stuck in a pew for the next choir practice. Cricket throwing was so entertaining that it occurred on multiple occasions.
One of the best pieces of advice my mother gave me was centered around this event. She had grown quite frustrated with the situation and me for disrupting choir practice. One day she said to me, “They only throw crickets at you to get a reaction from you. If you don’t react they’ll eventually quit throwing them.” Being a head strong child determined to do her own thing, I didn’t always take my mother’s advice or listen to her rules. But I did this time. In fact, I went a step further with it. When the boys threw crickets at me, I didn’t scream. I picked those nasty bugs up and threw them right back. I threw them back for my own defense and in defense of the other girls (who by the way we’re still screaming and running away.) My momma was right. When those boys saw I wasn’t scared anymore, they stopped throwing crickets.
The enemy uses fear the same way those boys did, to get a reaction from us. He uses repeated situations and circumstances to keep us afraid. He throws things like rejection, conflict, busyness, failure, exhaustion, and defeat that cause us to scream, cry, argue, become depressed, feel anxious, and even develop recurring health problems that disrupt our lives and relationships. If we’re not careful, we can become enslaved to what we fear and misinterpret people’s words and actions. We can actually expect what we fear.
God is not a spirit of fear. He does not bring rejection, anxiety, depression or defeat. Repeatedly He tells us He is on our side and He will deliver us from the hands of our true enemy. God did not make us to be His puppets but when we give into fear, we allow satan to be our puppet master. Repeatedly God’s word says “DO NOT FEAR.”
Just like those boys, satan will keep throwing fear at us as long as he can get a reaction. The best way to defeat him is to throw the fear back.
Are you wrestling with rejection? Remind yourself that in Genesis God said “It is not good for man to be alone…” and in Ecclesiastes He said again, “Two are better than one…” Psalm 68:6 begins with “God settles the lonely in families…” God does not call us to journey life alone. He gifts us with families, friendships, church bodies, and other relationships to do life with. Families aren’t always biological but I know from experience that God can gift us with people who feel more like family than our own blood relation.
Worried about your relationship? Stand on God’s truth and tell satan he can’t have it. Worried about your children? Guess what! They were God’s before they were yours. Remind satan to Whom they really belong to and that he cannot have them. Worried about your job? God gave it to you and only He has the power to take it away. But He promises to always take care of us.
No matter what your fear is, God has scripture to combat it. Scripture and prayer are the best weapons to throw at the enemy. Every time you worry, experience racing thoughts, feel so anxious you physically feel like vomiting, pray, get into God’s word, google “verses for fear, rejection, anxiety, etc.”, read a devotional or several at a time or listen to songs that remind you of His deliverance. If you’re able to, profess aloud God’s ultimate power and control and His ability to conquer our enemy.
It’s been 30+ years since I had a cricket thrown at me. But they still make me scream. Just this morning one jumped on and at me invoking a high pitched squeal to come from my voice box multiple times. It literally felt like the cricket was attacking me. Every time it jumped, I jumped and squealed. This went on until it made its escape underneath my kitchen island. I looked for it to kill it but it found safety in a secret hiding place.
This morning’s event reminded me not only how we can become enslaved to fear but how small our fears really are when we measure them up to our God. A black cricket is typically no bigger than the size of a peanut shell. I am over five feet tall. I have the power to crush this bug with my bare hands (although I wouldn’t for the simple fact that bug guts on my fingers would gross me out!) Yet fear gave the bug power over me. Rejection and other debilitating fears are just as tiny when compared to God’s power and His promises. God is in control and He promises to squash our enemy like a bug some day. But He also gives us the authority to squash the enemy too. Luke 10:19 tells us this; ““Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.”
The next time satan throws fear at you, throw back scripture, prayer and God’s truth. Watch the enemy get squashed like a bug, scorpion or snake! God is in control and His power makes us powerful and fearless. Do not be afraid!
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O Death, Where Is Your Sting?

/ LeahDawnRoot29 / 6 Comments

This week I watched my mom and her siblings walk a heart breaking journey that ended with saying goodbye to their younger sister. At 57 years young, my aunt lost her battle with lung cancer. Her final days were spent in a hospital, hooked up to a machine that aided her breathing surrounded by family who hoped, prayed and waited for a miracle.

Some will look back and think that God did not answer our prayer. Some may even get angry with God. The day before she passed, I found myself questioning God’s purpose in her suffering. But God is always faithful and instead of doubting Him, I chose to cling to my faith. I chose to trust Him confessing that His ways are not my ways. He called her Home the very next day.

God’s timing is always perfect. My aunt had been on a ventilator since Sunday evening and didn’t pass away until Thursday afternoon. She passed away on her mother’s birthday. Her mother, my grandmother, passed away in 1987. I believe the timing of my aunt’s death was God’s way of reminding us that as a believer, death can be something to celebrate. What a blessed birthday present my grandmother received this year welcoming her baby girl into Eternity!

In our humanness, we will grieve. My mom and her siblings as well as my aunt’s children will most long for my aunt to still be on this side of Heaven-not suffering, but still living. But in our faith we can rejoice through the sadness, celebrate through the heartbreak and be reassured that my aunt did get her miracle. God did heal her. Rather than heal her here, He chose to heal her with perfection.

The day my Aunt died, I woke up with two thoughts-The first was this: “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” I Corinthians 15:55. The second was the song No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts. The chorus kept swirling in my mind.

“No matter what! I’m gonna love you. No matter what! I’m gonna need you. I know that you can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not (if not), I’ll trust you. No matter what!”

The best way to walk through grief is to know that death has no victory over us and to choose to trust God even when we don’t understand His ways.

Be blessed and please keep my family, primarily my mom, her siblings and my aunt’s children in your prayers as they grieve my aunt’s Earthly absence and experience this side of life without her.

Can We Change God’s Mind?

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“But Moses objected. ‘What will the Egyptians think when they hear about it?’ he asked the Lord…”

Numbers 14:13a

I’m currently on my second round of reading through the Bible in its entirety.  Right now I am in the middle of the book of Numbers.  It’s not one of my favorite books to read.  I find all the census stuff and statistical information to be boring.  But when I start reading about Moses and the Israelites, God gets my attention.  Chapter 14 is a prime example.

In this chapter, the Israelites are complaining about God’s way of rescuing them.  In fact, they don’t feel rescued at all.  They not only grumble, but they question if God is even helping them.  The chapter begins with the Israelites saying, “If only we had died in Egypt, or even here in the wilderness!…Why is the Lord taking us to this country only to have us die in battle?…” (Verses2b-3a)  This grumbling makes God’s anger boil.  Enter Joshua and Caleb to intervene by reminding them of what the Promised Land looked like.  The Israelites want nothing to do with their encouragement.   Instead, they actually discuss stoning Joshua and Caleb.  Now, God is enraged.  He appears before all of them but He speaks only to Moses.  This is where the passage gets interesting.

God is so fed up with the Israelites doubting Him that He declares He will disown them.  He is ready to wipe them out with a plague and make a new nation “greater and mightier than they are!” (verse 12)  But Moses objects.  Now if you’re familiar with Moses, then you’re probably aware He questioned God’s calling for Him to even lead the Israelites.  He ended up with Aaron as a helper because He doubted God’s ability to make Him an effective leader.  Now He is in the wilderness with this same group, they’re mad and grumbling, ready to stone Joshua and Caleb.  God is enraged and Moses is caught in the middle.  Suddenly he gets a bout of courage and objects, TO GOD!  Here’s a paraphrased version of how Moses responds to God (and by paraphrase I mean my own modern day terminology of Moses’ rebuttal to God’s wrath.)

Moses musters up courage and responds to God with,

“Dude listen-I get it.  You did all these amazing acts of rescuing them from slavery, providing for them every step of the way and defeating every enemy they crossed paths with.  I mean You’ve literally made it rain with bread (manna) and foul (quail) just to prove Your power in their lives and again, to shut them up from all their whining.

“Here we are again dealing with their doubts, lack of faith and grumbling.  But the Egyptians are still around.  I’m just curious, and I mean no disrepect in asking this question, what do you think the Egyptians would say if You wiped out the Israelites now, here, in this wilderness?  What message would this send Your enemy?  They know the power You displayed rescuing Your people from their land.  They know You’ve appeared to us face to face and that it’s Your cloud that hovers over us.  They know that You go before us by day and by night.  If You destroy Your people now, Your enemy will say, “The Lord was not able to bring them into the land He swore to give them, so He killed them in the wilderness.” (Verse 16.)

Moses continues by asking God  to prove His power once again and even reminds Him of His own words that He is a God “slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion…” (verse 18.)  God responds by agreeing to pardon the Israelites as Moses requests, but denying all who have grumbled against the Lord access to the Promised Land.  Their death sentence is secured right in that wilderness.

If you read this passage at face value, it could be interpreted as Moses changing God’s mind.  In fact, it’s almost as if God is being irrational and Moses steps in and says, “Ok God, before You bring the plague, let’s take a deep breath and see if there’s another solution that won’t ruin Your reputation with the enemy.”  Seriously, it almost looks like God is flying off the handle and Moses is like, “Calm down! Let’s rethink this.” Did Moses actually change God’s mind?  Can you or I change God’s mind?  The answer is, ABSOLUTELY NOT!

God is not a being who can be reasoned with or who’s mind can be changed.  God is also not a being who gets irrational.  God is God.  He is omnipotent and omnipresent.  He always was and He always will be.  He ordained everything that has happened and will happen throughout the entire world’s existence. He is the Master of the Universe.  Therefore, nothing that happens, not even an entire nation grumbling against Him, surprises Him.  Before God even ordained Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, God knew most of them would be faithless and never see the Promised Land.  But He chose to rescue them anyway. I don’t believe He ever intended on destroying them with the plague he threatened either.  I believe God said what He said to Moses in chapter 14 to test Moses’ character and to sharpen his leadership skills.  God already knew how Moses would respond to His wrath against the Israelites.  He knew yet He made the threat anyway.  He did so, giving Moses the opportunity to intervene for the people God called him to lead.  I also think God did this to remind Moses of the kind of Power God really has and that His word is not void.  God always keeps His word.

Numbers chapter 14 is a great reminder of God’s faithfulness and His ability to test our character.  If your character is being tested, God is simply sharpening you for the position He’s called you into.  If His direction or response seems irrational, step up and speak out His own word to remind yourself that He is in control, He is all powerful and His word is never void.  Don’t try to change God’s mind.  If you or a loved one is messing up, do intervene, with prayer, concession and confession.  Like Moses, your confession and intercession could be the game changer in their life or your own.