Debunking Boaz

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17

If you’re familiar with the Bible then I’m guessing you’ve heard of the story of Ruth.  If not, let me give you a quick summary.  Ruth was a woman who married a man from a foreign land and tied herself to his family.  Her father-in-law, her husband and her brother-in-law all die (not simultaneously) and her mother-in-law (Naomi) decides to return to her homeland.  Naomi tells her daughters-in-law to stay with their own families.  Ruth’s sister-in-law Orpah stays.  But Ruth clings to Naomi and ends up returning to Naomi’s homeland with her.  Ruth then goes to work in a barley field as a means to provide for herself and Naomi.  There she meets Boaz who just so happens to to own the barley field Ruth is working in.  Long story short, Naomi finds out who Ruth is working for, realizes it’s a relative who can “redeem” Ruth as wife and mother and plays matchmaker between the two.  Her instructions and Ruth’s obedience pay off as Boaz marries Ruth and Ruth gives birth to Obed who was King David’s grandfather.

The book of Ruth is one of redeeming love and used as an example of how God can take tragedy and turn it into glory.  However, if misinterpreted, it can easily be romanticized and fill people, especially single women longing for marriage, with false hope.   For a woman longing for marriage, especially one has endured much rejection and/or abuse, the story of Boaz redeeming Ruth can fill her with the idea that God will use a man to redeem her circumstances also.  I want to be clear-Boaz was a kinsman redeemer but he did not redeem Ruth.

In Ruth’s cultural times, a kinsman-redeemer was a relative who carried out an act for a near relative who could not carry it out for themselves. In Ruth’s case, she was left a childless widow.  Boaz acted as a kinsman-redeemer by marrying and impregnating her in order to carry on her husband’s name (Ruth 4:10.) Boaz was a man of noble character but he was not a knight in shining armor who rescued Ruth.  He was a man who was impressed with Ruth’s beauty and work ethic.  He saws Ruth’s approach toward him as an act of kindness.  He also admitted there was another relative closer in relation to be Ruth’s redeemer. He protected Ruth’s reputation but was willing to step aside if the other relative chose to redeem Ruth himself (all found in Ruth chapters 3 and 4.)

Ruth was not a damsel in distress either.  She suffered great loss.  She made hard choices.  She worked on her own accord.  Ruth doesn’t bring up the idea of remarriage or children.  Her mother-in-law does.  Ruth only obeys the directives Naomi gives her.  Ruth was not wallowing in sorrow or waiting for a man to come along and rescue her.  She was in survival mode focused on taking care of herself and Naomi.  God stepped in and redeemed Ruth’s circumstances by connecting her to Boaz but God is Ruth’s ultimate rescuer.

No where in the book of Ruth does it mention that the desires of her heart was remarriage or to have a child.  In fact, when Naomi tells her to stay in her homeland, it’s because Naomi had no other sons for her to marry in order to bare a child.  Naomi tells her to stay with her own family and find another husband there.  But Ruth tells her this; “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17)  Ruth does not choose to go with Naomi hoping to meet Boaz or any kinsman-redeemer.  She goes with Naomi because that’s who she identifies as her family and she has a loyalty to staying with that family.  The Bible doesn’t say it, but I believe Ruth either had no intentions to ever remarry or simply trusted God to take care of the matter.  Either way, remarriage was not Ruth’s priority.

Please don’t misinterpret today’s post.  I am not against marriage or remarriage.  The point of this post is to empower the woman who believe a man, a relationship and/or marriage is her saving grace to let go of that ideology.  To the woman who thinks her life will begin when God finally sends her the man of her dreams, you’re missing out on life that’s happening right now! God is our true redeemer.  He was Israel’s redeemer in the old testament and He sent Jesus to be our redeemer from sin in the New Testament.  He saves our circumstances and He redeems us from sinful mistakes.  No human being has the power to do that.  Expecting someone to redeem us puts unnecessary pressure on the person we identify as our savior.  It also is a form of worship and violates the Ten Commandments (Thou shall have no other gods before Me…)

If you are a single woman and your heart’s desire is marriage, please don’t pray for a Boaz.  Boaz was Ruth’s husband.  He can’t be yours.  Pray for the man God has designed for you.  While you’re waiting, be diligent in your work, recognize where you can rescue yourself and trust God to rescue you when you cannot.  Be the provider for the family God has gifted you, even if that family is just you and a pet or two. Trust Him to be your leader and partner.  See God as the husband you wish you had because we are all His bride. He is ultimately the One for each and everyone of us.

God will always be our Mr. Right.  If we misinterpret Boaz and especially if we get caught up in romance or Hallmark movies, we can easily become impatient and fall for a Mr. Right Now.  Wait on God.  Trust His ways.  Celebrate your singleness (it’s just as precious gift as marriage) and work hard at being the woman God made you to be.  If being a wife is part of His design, it will come to pass, just like it did for Ruth, in God’s time and His way!  We don’t need to manufacture our own love stories.  Ruth didn’t and God gave her Boaz.  Trust Him to write your love story too!

 

Better than Mr. Clean

“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” Psalm 51:7

For several summers I have cleaned a 5 bedroom lake house that is rented by the week for families to vacation together.  Each Saturday I’m scheduled, the owners and myself have five hours to launder linens, change bedding, dust furniture, wash windows, clean bathrooms, maintain the lawncare and so much more.  Each Saturday we take a well vacationed home and turn it into a brand new adventure for the next arrival.  It’s amazing what we can do in the limited time when we roll up our sleeves and determine to make it shine for the new renters.

Yesterday was no exception.  As I headed upstairs preparing to clean four out of the five bedrooms,  I turned on Pandora.  Music always helps me work more diligently.  Perhaps I learned that from the Seven Dwarfs-they did love to “whistle while they worked” didn’t they? Francesca Battistelli’s “Beautiful Beautiful” was just starting.  The song opens with these lyrics:

“Don’t know how it is you looked at me

“and saw the person that I could be…”

After the first verse, she bellows these lyrics in the chorus:

“Like sunlight burning at midnight,

“making my life something so beautiful, beautiful…”

This is one of my favorite songs that depict a beautiful image of redemption.  As I listened I couldn’t help but compare the work I do as a cleaning lady (job number 3 that I work) to how Jesus cleans up our lives.  I spend my Saturdays cleaning up somebody else’s mess in preparation for someone else to come in and mess it up again.  Jesus gave up His very life to clean up our messes knowing we would mess up again.

As a cleaning lady, I’ve faced my share of dirt and stains that were difficult to remove.  Some in fact I couldn’t get out at all.  I’ve seen bedding and walls colored on, stoves covered in thick grease, etc.  In fact, the kitchen counter of the house I clean had a stain on it that seemed impossible to remove and had been there for a few years.  One day I bought a new organic cleaner and asked the owners if I could try it out on that stain.  With their approval, I sprayed the cleaner on the stain and let it sit for a few seconds.  Scrubbed a little and wiped it away.  It wasn’t removed but it had become a little lighter.  So, I sprayed again and let the cleaning solution sit longer.  Scrubbed and wiped again to find it was almost completely gone.  The third time was the charm and the stain was completely gone.

Like the organic cleaner’s ability to remove that impossible countertop stain, Jesus can remove every single sin stain our lives display.  Did you not save your virtue for marriage?  Jesus can wipe that sin away.  Were you unfaithful to your marriage?  Jesus can wipe that sin away.  Did you lie and cheat your way to success?  Jesus can wipe that sin away.  Did you catfish someone or many others?  Jesus can wipe that sin away.  Are you addicted to sex, drugs and/or alcohol?  Jesus can wipe those sins away too.  Do you struggle with anger, rage and unforgiveness?  Jesus can wipe that sin away.  Are you a womanizer or a man-hater? Jesus can wipe that sin away.  Have you attempted to fill voids with toxic relationships, loveless sex or other self destructive behaviors?  Are you addicted to pornography?  Jesus can wipe it all away.  No matter the mistakes you’ve made, the mistakes you continue to make or the mistakes you will make, Jesus’ death wiped every sin away.

You are not the stains of your mistakes. Our enemy uses our mistakes to keep us locked up in sin, despair and drudgery.  We beat ourselves up for repeating the past.  We continue to chase after dead end relationships, we argue with the toxic person in our lives and we harbor unforgiveness toward those who’ve hurt us.  We can even fall into the trap of not praying for our enemies.  We can’t enjoy the life Jesus wants for us because we can’t see past our stains.  We buy into the lies of our enemy and choose to remain stained.  We live rejected and therefore reject the love of others because we believe we are too damaged to ever be loved again.  We live like a garment so muddied it’s not even worth donating to Goodwill and ultimately ends up in the trash.

Just like cleaning that seasonal summer home takes time to clean so it goes with Jesus’ cleansing for us.  There’s no magic wand waved, there are no fingers snapped and poof we are magically cleaned.  It took three times of spraying cleaner on that countertop to completely remove the stain.  Jesus’ cleansing is a similar three-step process and it begins with confession.  1 John 1:9 states it perfectly: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  If we want to stop living like stained rejects and damaged goods, we have to be honest with Jesus and ourselves.  We have to admit our mistakes, confess how we’ve been living and confess the mindset we’ve been living in.  Very similar to an alcoholic beginning their road to sobriety by admitting they are addicted to alcohol.

The second step is forgiveness.  We have to seek His forgiveness, possibly seek others’ forgiveness, forgive ourselves and forgive those who have hurt us.  That too is not something that happens overnight or instantaneously.  Forgiveness is a lifetime practice of choosing to acknowledge the wound, let go of it and allow Jesus to heal it. Forgiveness is also about trusting Jesus to vindicate us rather than seeking out our own revenge.  I have always been one who is quick to defend myself.  One of the hardest verses I’ve had to learn to stand on is Exodus 14:14-trusting God to fight for me and choosing instead to just be still.  Forgiveness is like being on the battlefield with arrows pointed at you and choosing to stand still, unarmed, trusting that God is avenging you. No matter how badly you want to throw an arrow back, you instead, choose to lay it down.

The final step in Jesus’ cleansing process is healing.  If we want to be made clean, we have to let Jesus heal us.  That can be the most painful part of the process.  If you’re like me, you’ve let your mistakes define you to the point that it’s become your identity.  When you look in the mirror all you can see is brokenness looking back at you.  People continue to build you up but you just throw their building blocks back at them.  Being broken has become your comfort zone and being healed just feels like an open door to get hurt all over again.  But God did not make us to be a broken people.  We are His light to the world.  A broken light bulb cannot shine into others’ darkness.  It can only exude more darkness.  If you’re living in brokenness, you know too well how dark and lonely that kind of living truly is.  We attract what we are.  If we are living as damaged goods, we will attract the same mind set which only seeks us deeper into despair.  When we walk in His healing, instead of attracting more brokenness, we can become His tool in healing others.

To become His light, we have to open the wounds and allow Jesus to scrub away the stains.  Depending on how stubbornly we hold on to any specific stain will determine how uncomfortable and lengthy the process can be.  If you’ve made brokenness your comfort zone it’s going to feel like jumping off a high platform into an unknown abyss when you finally choose to let Jesus heal you.  But when you do, your light will shine again, you will be a lighthouse to someone else’s darkness and you will see Jesus as the Mr. Clean who washed you white as snow! Confess your sins, forgive yourself and others.  Close your eyes and metaphorically jump into His healing.  When you open your eyes and look into the mirror again, you will see the man or woman Jesus truly made you to be!

Christmas Joy

“But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.'” Luke 2:10 NIV

We are two days away from another Christmas holiday.  Many have already begun celebrating a season that is supposed to represent peace, love, hope and joy.  It’s the season of giving and receiving.  For Christians, it’s also the season to celebrate Christ’s birth which represents miraculous events that can only be explained through a belief system that supersedes human logic.

Christmas can also be a season of stress, exhaustion, worry, depression and sadness.  In two days there will be children waking up to no presents, not even a Christmas tree and maybe even no food or heat in their homes.  Families will gather for dinner with at least one empty seat reminding them of a loved one whom they lost this year.  Kids will divide their time between households of split parents who may or may not get along.  Somebody is going to get drunk or misuse drugs to self medicate.  Fighting and abuse will increase.  Not every household in our neighborhoods and cities will be filled with love let alone experience Christmas joy.

Personally I have seen life threatening illnesses attack family members and community members.  There are people who will be fighting for their lives over the Christmas holiday.  I have also seen marriages and relationships recently come to end.  In two days there will be people experiencing Christmas without their spouse or significant other whom they lovingly shared this holiday with in the past.  If children are involved, they will be spending this holiday away from at least one of their parents adjusting to a new normal.  People have or will lose their jobs or perhaps have been jobless for months.  In  a season that is supposed to be happy and joyful, suffering seems to insurmountably increase.  So the question is, how do we find joy in such desperate and heartbreaking circumstances?

The answer? Joy in all circumstances is found when we turn our focus to Jesus.  Christ’s birth is the perfect example of bad timing and finding joy amidst dismal situations.  Mary was a virgin who’s fiance’ thought she gave herself to another man.  Joseph married a woman pregnant with God’s baby and couldn’t consummate the marriage until after Christ was born.  The mockery and judgement they must’ve endure would be enough for even the strongest in faith to question God.  But then in the end stage of Mary’s pregnancy they have to travel a distance for census purposes.  This was not flying coach or calling an Uber.  This would consist of riding a donkey or camel for days.  There was no telephone or internet to make reservations ahead of time so when they arrive in Bethlehem they find no lodging available.  One innkeeper offers them his barn to sleep in.

I’m going to interject right here-this is Mary, carrying God’s child.  God, the creator of all universe, all powerful and all knowing, knew Mary and Joseph’s story all along.  Nothing surprises Him.  God knew before He ever put Jesus in Mary’s womb exactly how Jesus would enter this world-in a barn among farm animals.  This was not a clean or sterile environment.  I can only imagine that this was not the ideal place Mary would have chosen to give birth to any of her children, but especially to God’s son.  If Mary’s faith was like mine, she would’ve had super high hopes for an elaborate birth and be sorely disappointed when she was laboring in a barn.  But when it was all said and done, Mary “treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19 NIV)  Jesus was born into a world filled with sickness, disease, addiction, abuse and heartache.  He was born into this world because it was filled with such sadness.  His purpose was to save us all from the demise of a fallen world.

Cancer, stroke, heart disease, pneumonia, divorce, discord, anxiety and debt do not care that Christmas is 2 days away.  Bank accounts don’t magically have excess for Christmas presents and special holiday dinners.  Loneliness doesn’t take a vacation on December 25th.  Christmas doesn’t gift the return of a loved one who passed away.  There is nothing in this list that exudes joyfulness or describes Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year.  Yet God calls us to joy.  Choosing joy means praising God amidst the storms that heap pain, sorrow and devastation.  Choosing joy means clinging to God’s promises and faithfulness even when He feels so far away and we question what His plan is.  Choosing joy means gratitude for another day to celebrate Christmas even though our worlds may be crumbling.  Choosing joy means knowing God’s timing is always perfect and victory will always be His even when it seems as though our enemy is winning.  If nothing more, choosing joy is simply an act of obedience because God tells us to choose joy in all circumstances (Philippians 4:4.)

Christmas carols celebrate joy.  Decorations are adorn with the word “joy.”  No matter what we are facing today there is always a choice to live in our feelings or to choose joy.  Joy in all circumstances will always bring peace that exceeds human wisdom.  When you know that kind of peace your faith will soar because you will finally believe God’s promises will be fulfilled no matter what chaos is happening right now.  Every circumstance reflects a season.  Christmas is a season of joy in spite of our circumstances.  Take time to sing the lyrics to this Christmas classic today and every day this week with a mindset of choosing joy.  When you hear these words, “JOY TO THE WORLD, THE LORD HAS COME…” Belt it out with a heart that chooses joy and watch how unshakable your faith becomes.

Personal Prayer Request

“Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭8:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Please pray for my son. He suffered a concussion tonight. He experienced excruciating head pain while in the emergency room. He is home now and pain meds are finally bringing him some relief. We now begin the journey of a concussion recovery program. Jostling the brain is a scary thing and although this injury was no surprise to God (and I trust God with my children), it’s still a heartbreaking experience to watch your child suffer and feel helpless to make them better. Please for for full healing, comfort from pain and a hedge of protection over him physically, emotionally and spiritually. He is unable to participate in his sports event until he is cleared from his doctor and he’s struggling with disappointment from the inability to play right now. Thank you all in advanced for your prayers. God is good and how blessed we are to have direct contact with the Great Physician. 💙

Love Costs Everything

““For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

‭‭John‬ ‭3:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“I love you.” A short sentence with three simple words that hold tremendous power. Three words often said too soon, too easily or sometimes even dishonestly. Three words that can fool or heal a broken heart depending on the speaker’s true intentions. They say the tongue is like a swift sword. If that’s true then saying “I love you” is like removing Excalibur from its stone prison.

How do you know if those words are true or false? Look at the speaker’s actions. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 specifically tells us what Love is and is not. Love is PATIENT and KIND. Love REJOICES whenever truth wins. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is ALWAYS HOPEFUL and ENDURES through every circumstance. Love is NOT jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Love does NOT demand its own way neither is it irritable nor does it keep record of wrongs. Let me add this: Love does not call names, does not threaten you, does not cheat on you or lie to you and Love will never tell you it hates you. Love chooses you above it’s own needs every single time. It doesn’t make excuses, Love doesn’t blame you and it never purposefully hurts you. Love takes ownership when it makes a mistake. Love protects, provides for, comforts and empowers you. Love commits to you every day.

Love calls you on the phone just to hear your voice. Love surprises you with a special gift or an act of service just because it treasures you. Love is content just being in your presence no matter what is going on around you. Love will share its secrets and cast its burdens upon you and carry yours when you are weary. Love will pray with you and for you. Love will fight for you when you cannot fight for yourself. Love will fight your enemies with you when you’re strong enough to handle the trenches of warfare. Love will speak the truth to you even if it risks upsetting you because its desire is for you is to walk in the Truth.

Love will however, never condemn you. Love will never make you feel less than or set standards for you that are impossible to achieve. Love will always love you for exactly who you are and where you’re at in your life’s journey. Love will also never compare you to anyone else or make you pay for someone else’s mistakes. Love always sees the unique and precious gem that you are and treats you as such no matter what.

Love comes in many packages-parent/child relationships, marriages, friendships and even through extended family relationships. The greatest love comes from God Himself. His word repeatedly tells us how much He loves us. 1 John 4:9 tells us ““God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.” God didn’t just send His son because we know that Jesus is really God Himself in human form. Thus, God actually endured condemnation, imprisonment, torture and murder for you and for me. God shows us in John 15:13 just how great of a sacrifice that is-“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” No greater love than to lay down’s one life for another. Does that mean we should all throw ourselves in front of a moving vehicle to show our love for someone? Absolutely not! Does it mean we stop striving to serve ourselves and take on a servant heart toward others? Yes. It. Does. Galatians 5:13 sums it up perfectly. “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.”

God tells us to “…Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” (John‬ ‭13:34‬b NLT) He also tell us “…let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

‭So the next time you say “I love you” make sure your deeds back up this sentence. Before giving your heart to someone who tells you they love you, make sure they have taken the time to show you love in how they treat you. Please note, “Making love” and “falling in love” are fantasy and romantic notions that only build up false expectations and bring demise. If you can “fall in love” then you can “fall out of love.” It’s this ideology that leads to many break-ups and divorces. It’s an ideology that is based on feeling not consciously choosing. Feelings come and go and can be swayed by circumstances. Choosing love means you choose that relationship, that friendship or to raise that child no matter what circumstances lie before you. Although love keeps no record of wrongs, to protect yourself and to protect your relationships examine the ways you and those you love are showing love to one another. Actions will always speak volumes over words. 💗

2018

Happy New Year! May God bless you in 2018 with an abundance that supersedes any human expectation you could ever imagine or dream of! New year-new posts to come…Until then, Happy January 1st, 2018!

Happy Birthday 🎂

“If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬
Today, Sept 29th, is my birthday. I tend to make this day all about me thinking it’s the one day a year I get to be celebrated. Most days I feel under appreciated, overlooked and insignificant to say the least. But God has been showing me that I was not created to live my life for me-I was created to live for Him and to serve others.
Thus I can’t imagine a better way to spend today than to bless others and I want to encourage anyone who reads this to do the same. Today be encouraged to be a blessing to someone in your life or even a total stranger. Buy someone coffee, pay for a person’s groceries, help someone carry something that is too heavy, call a long lost friend and reconnect, pray with someone, strike up a conversation with your cashier, call the person delivering your lunch by name, thank a veteran, hold open the door for someone and especially SMILE at others you encounter today. Our world is full of strife but small and simple acts of kindness can be the reason someone smiles today.

Please share in the comments  how you blessed others or paid it forward with a random act of kindness!  God bless! 🙏🏻💕🎂