Do You Trust Me?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I have felt stuck on a hamster wheel going nowhere for far too long. Everyday feels like another battle of jumping on the wheel exhausting every ounce of energy I have only to end up in the same place, worn out and disappointed. Every time I see what appears to be an open door to get me off this hamster wheel I run harder and faster only to watch someone else go through the door and close it behind them.

I’m gonna get real and confess I am so tired of closed doors! I want off this daggone hamster wheel and actually moving forward thriving like some preachers tell us God wants us to be doing. Last night I stopped running in place and prayed a very angry prayer to God demanding I be moved out of the pit and into the promotion in life I long for. I pulled out all the stops too. I reminded Him of how faithful I’ve been and how hard I’ve worked to learn the lessons He’s teaching me on this hamster wheel journey. I also reminded Him of how old I was and that I wasn’t getting any younger so this whole “waiting” thing and trusting His perfect timing no longer resonates well. I lastly reminded Him that I’ve even made efforts to fix my mistakes.

At one point I was so angry I actually told God that I didn’t want to speak to Him. Of course I just kept rambling though. A few minutes later I demanded to hear from Him. No more silent treatment. But the only thing I heard was my own sobs. So I picked up my phone, checked my Bible app and turned to Proverbs 3. I read verses 5 and 6 and cringed. Sounds completely sacreligious to cringe over scripture doesn’t it? Well I cringed because God tends to send me that specific scripture when His answer to my prayer is a big fat “NO!” I throw my temper tantrums and His response Is simply, “Trust in Me and do not rely on your understanding. Acknowledge Me and I will make your paths straight.” Grrrrrrrrrr!

But then I read farther in Proverbs 3 including verse 11; “My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline and don’t be upset when He corrects you.” Double Grrrrrrrrrr! How does a person NOT get upset when they’re being disciplined? In my anger I envisioned a callous God with His back against me completely ignoring my cries.

At one point in my prayer rant last night I actually said “You are not the God I know and love right now.” WHOA! Right? Some might think “That’s awfully bold!” Others reading this may think “Who is she to speak to God in such an irreverent manner?” Those words were spoken in a moment of deep disappointment and feeling of great defeat. Those words were spoken to a god who had turned his back away from me. Those words were not spoken to the real God.

You see in my moment of despair, I saw satan’s version of God. But God, through His word showed me who He really is. Even when He tells us “no”, that no may be firm but it’s gentle and it always comes with a “trust Me” after it. God is our Heavenly Father and just like we parents tell our children “no” from time to time, a parent’s no is always for our child’s own good, even if it’s a form of discipline.

I went to bed last night with only this prayer said “I’m sorry for my angry prayer.” My heart was still stubborn so it was all I could offer. I woke up this morning and read this verse; ““So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!” Hebrews‬ ‭10:35‬ ‭NLT‬‬ God again sending me a reminder to trust Him. Notice one thing-God was not shaken by my rant. He also-did not ignore me in spite of my spoiled brat meltdown. He will not ignore you either. God loves you and me even when we don’t agree or accept how He handles us or how He answers our prayers.

I don’t like being told no. I don’t like being disciplined. I don’t like this hamster wheel I’m metaphorically running on. Heck-I don’t like to exercise at all. Ha! Ha! But I have to obey God’s directive which is simply to trust Him. So do you. What areas in your life are you struggling to trust Him in? If your heart is angry, so mine has been too. God is so faithful in forgiving a repentant heart and He is faithful to His word. Do you trust Him? It’s what He’s calling you (and me) to do.

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Premeditated Forgiveness

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:14‬ ‭NLT‬

Forgive as God has forgiven you. This concept is definitely easier said than done, am I right? It’s especially difficult when we dwell on the wrongs or when the offender is unrepentant and continues to wrong us. We may even find ourselves asking the age old question, “How do I forgive someone who isn’t even sorry?” The answer, as I discovered today, is this: We forgive the same way Jesus forgave Judas, Simon Peter and us-we choose forgiveness before the offense even happens. Say what now?

Forgiveness and not judging others has been a repeated lesson for me in my daily devotionals over the last few weeks. Both are something I greatly struggle with. Especially with those who make zero effort to change their ways or blame all the conflict on me. I also have to admit that I am a dweller. Too often, I get stuck on the offenses done to the point that I only expect negativity from my offenders. Instead of tunnel vision that only sees the good, I can only see the bad in these people. That’s NOT a very christian perspective is it? It’s one I do confess and seek God’s help in forgiving but honestly-I’ve allowed hatred to grow in my heart. The scripture in Ezekiel 36:26 hits the nail on the head about having a stubborn stony heart. I do ask God to remove and give me a heart of flesh yet my spirit keeps holding on to this hatred. The only willingness I have to forgive is the confession that I am not willing and need supernatural help to pluck out this root of hatred so my heart can soften to God’s command regarding forgiveness.

Stone is an incredibly hard substance. It takes a brute force to crack it and a repeated brute force to break through it. I need Jesus to use a jackhammer on my stubbornness in order to surrender to His will. When it comes to stubbornness, there’s “strong-willed” and then there’s me. I’m as feisty as Jacob was when he wrestled God and achieved a broken hip. 😂Thankfully, God skips the construction worker method and uses a softer approach like an invitation from a friend to do a You Version reading plan specifically on the topic of forgiveness. Today’s reading definitely chipped through the stone.

If you’re familiar with Jesus’ ministry, you know He hand picked twelve men to be His disciples. These men were taught and led by Jesus. They ate with Him and camped with Him. Everywhere He went, these men went with Him. They served with Him and they were served by Him. They prayed with Him daily. These men shared a spiritual and emotional intimacy with Jesus. Yet they failed Him and two that we know of, even betrayed Him. The kicker to all of this-Jesus KNEW how they would misunderstand and doubt Him, He knew how they would betray Him before He ever picked them. Yet-He. still. chose. them. to be His disciples. He used His betrayers to be His messengers for His ministry. If that’s not a “Say WHAT?” moment for y’all I don’t know what would be. Ha! Ha!

In all seriousness, this is where forgiveness resonates with me. If someone hurts me badly enough I cut them out of my life as a form of protection and boundary setting. I feel empowered to say “I deserve better and because you have mistreated me you no longer get to share in my life.” I wish them no ill will but simply do not care to have a relationship with them anymore. This practice has included family members, friends, acquaintances, and ex-boyfriends. There are some I have reconciled with but others I doubt reconciliation will ever be a possibility . Why? For one-because I don’t have the desire to reconcile. For two-I haven’t fully forgiven them. For three-I don’t think it’s beneficial for me or for them to reconcile.

Although Jesus reconciled with Peter, He told Judas to go do what he was planning to do and I haven’t found a scripture that shows He reconciled with Judas. That’s the balance of understanding the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. God calls us to forgive everyone of everything. Although reconciliation is scripturally recommended, I do not believe it’s a command for every person and every situation. Let me give you some examples:

If a family member commits incest, God calls to forgive but it would be dangerous to reconcile with a predator. The same holds true for a spouse or former spouse who’s abusive or a person who holds a leadership role and uses that power to create a hostile environment. Judas’ betrayal was the catalyst for Jesus’ murder. That’s not a person to reconcile with! To reconcile, there has to be an opportunity to regain trust. You cannot trust an abusive, controlling or predatory person.

If a friend betrays you (like Peter denying he knew Jesus) or a family member hurts your feelings, if a fellow believer especially offends you, God calls us to forgive and to reconcile. The enemy brings division. God brings unity. Reconciliation is a must to keep God’s army united and to avoid giving the enemy a foothold in our lives. Jesus’ reconciliation with Peter is a prime example for us to follow (read John 21.) Reconciliation doesn’t mean we overlook the offense-it means we acknowledge the offense and we and the offender (or if we are the offender) talk it out in an effort to ensure the offense doesn’t happen again. Will the offense happen again? Possibly. Otherwise Jesus wouldn’t tell us to forgive 70 times 7.

Reading John chapter 13 today showed me two things about forgiveness: One-I need to choose to forgive every offense even before it’s done to me. Why? Because Jesus died for me before I ever committed any offense. Two-I need to choose to walk alongside my enemies, even work and serve with them because Jesus served in ministry with men He knew would betray Him. This is all possible when I (and you) do the one thing Jesus did-keep our focus on God the Father, to know Whose authority we have and to Whom we belong. “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God.” John‬ ‭13:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

You and I are children of God. No harmful act or hateful word can ever change that. If Jesus, the greatest man to ever walk this earth, was hated and betrayed by His so-called friends-it’s naive to think that we would not experience the same. When Jesus was beaten, spat upon and mocked, not one time did He say, “Do you know who I am? How dare you treat me this way!” In fact what He did say was “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Who am I to act so high and mighty when people offend me? This is a very humbling question and to be honest-I’m eating crow as I write this post (metaphorically speaking!) 🙂

When It’s Hardest to Forgive

“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:21-22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

If you were raised Christian, ever visited a Sunday School class or have been witnessed to, I am confident you’ve heard a message about forgiveness. The plan of salvation alone consists of confessing our sins and Jesus forgiving us. Christ’s death is the epitome of forgiveness both to those who crucified Him and for those He died for. As He was hanging on the cross already beaten and tortured, He cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

Throughout the Old and New Testament there are many passages on God and Christ forgiving sinners. We aren’t just forgiven. God calls us to forgive those who “trespass against us.” If you’re anything like me, being forgiven is easy. Forgiving others can be a very tough pill to swallow especially those who aren’t even sorry.

There are people in this world who may hate you, hurt you, and lie about you because of their own toxicity. Perhaps they’re jealous and insecure, sociopathic or narcissistic even. The stories of Jezebel, Joseph’s brothers and even Saul’s murderous behavior toward David are prime examples. The Pharisees even blasphemed against Jesus. Yet there are multiple scriptures that tell us to forgive. In fact a few verses even say love your enemies and pray for them/do good to them.

Here are a few more scriptures on God telling us to forgive:

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. ””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭11:25‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Over and over God tells us to love our enemies, be kind to each other and to forgive each other. When someone we love hurts our feelings or disappoints us-it tends to be easy to forgive them because our love supersedes the offense. It’s hardest to forgive those who’s offenses supersede the ability to love that person. That’s where surrender to God and an obedient heart comes in to play. That’s where seventy times seven needs to be applied.

You may come across someone who will never be sorry for the wrong they did to you. You may want to just avoid them or ignore their existence. However, there may be circumstances where you cannot ignore or avoid them. You may have such a justifiable aversion to them that being kind to them makes your skin crawl. Our wounded hearts don’t want to forgive. Our defenses don’t want to be around them let alone offer them grace or kindness. But God says “Forgive them.” God says “Be kind to them.” God says “Love and pray for them.”

Seventy times seven means we forgive every offense, every time. I think it also means we may have to forgive the same offense over and over as a means to truly let go and fully forgive our offenders. Think about it. How many times a day do you dwell on the offense? Ever have arguments in your head between yourself and the offender? Ever think unkind thoughts or call them vicious names in your mind? Gossip about them maybe? Can you feel roots of bitterness growing and consuming you? Do you think any of that hurts your offender? Trust me-it does not. Your offender is most likely not even thinking about you. If their not sorry for their actions then they’re certainly not dwelling on them either. Our dwelling only keeps us wounded and keeps us from forgiving.

We combat this by choosing forgiveness. When a negative thought pops in your head-confess in your mind or aloud that you forgive the offender. Dwelling on specific actions they did against you? Name them aloud as you declare that you forgive these offenses. Confess each and every hateful thought you entertain and give it all to Jesus. When circumstances arise that you have to engage with that person, force yourself to be kind. You may have to fake it until you make it but if you do this, you will cut off all roots of bitterness and walk in the freedom of having a forgiving heart. You will make it to forgiving your offender(s).

Your enemy may never change. Our greatest enemy will never change so why do we expect our human enemies to change? We cannot control the behaviors and actions of others. We can only control how we respond, what we hold on to and what we let go of. We have a choice to forgive or to hold a grudge. Holding a grudge steals our joy and makes us more like our haters. Always choose to forgive. Even if you have to say it 490 times (which is 70 X 7 by the way) choosing forgiveness makes you more Christlike. That forgiveness may be the exact stepping stone Jesus uses to bring your enemy to salvation. After all-Joseph told his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” (Genesis 50:20) You never know how God will use your forgiveness to save the lives of others also.

Hypocrites and Holy People (or Sinners Saved By Grace)

“…He [Christ] gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25b-26 NLT

How’s your sin life? Yes you read that correctly and no, there is no auto correct typo in that question. How is your sin life? Many devotionals focus on a person’s prayer life or their walk with Jesus but how often do we focus on the path we take in our daily sins or with ongoing strongholds that continue to set us back spiritually? God doesn’t want us to dwell on our past or worship our sin but I believe He definitely wants us to examine our hearts and allow Him to cleanse us from all that keeps us stagnant in our relationship with Him.

I’ve been called many hurtful things in my lifetime and a “hypocrite” is one of them. Truth be told, I’ve even referred to myself as a hypocrite thinking this description made me more real than sanctimonious. In fact, I had planned on titling this post “I am a Hypocrite” and writing more of a confessional than a devotional. Looking up the definition of a hypocrite and seeing what God’s word says about this word changed my mind.

The dictionary defines a hypocrite as; ” a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion…” (Merriam-Webster) God’s word describes a hypocrite as someone who puts on a show in their faith for attention and public praise (Matthew 6:2, 5 and 12.) The Bible also tells us hypocrites honor the Lord with their mouths but their hearts are far from Him (Mark 7:6.) One common word to define hypocrite found in both the dictionary and the Bible is “LIAR.” There are times I am an attention seeker but one thing I am not is a liar.

Lying is the top character trait I have zero tolerance or grace for. The lack of grace is obviously a flaw in my own character and one I continue to have to surrender to the Lord allowing Him to soften my heart toward. After all, if Christ died for my lifetime of sins, I definitely need to be able to forgive someone who has lied to me or lied about me, right? I guess this post is a bit of a confessional after all and my lack of grace for liars is confession number one.

So here’s confession number two-I fail in my Christian walk every. single. day. Some ongoing strongholds I have are unforgiveness and holding on to past hurts, keeping my heart closed off to protect myself from getting hurt again, cussing, worrying, grumbling and gossiping. In one confession I have managed to admit that I do not always practice what I preach. But my posts aren’t written in a self-righteous or “holier than thou” manner where I’m esteeming my walk and pointing out the flaws in yours. In my childhood, I attended a church where the pastor preached from a pulpit of self-righteousness and his flock were the ones who were “wretches”. I prayed the prayer of salvation every Sunday in that church and never felt good enough t be redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb. I loved my childhood in a state of constant shame and fear of a wrathful God.

My posts are written from the depths of the muddied waters I travel through daily in hopes that my fellow mud puddle dwellers can be inspired to draw closer to Jesus and to seek His cleansing. I use my own personal experiences to show that I also strive to pursue His cleansing for my own journey. I am far from perfect. In fact, here’s a few more strongholds I struggle with:

  • I get angry and in my anger, I sin. One thing my momma used to say was “Her mouth is going to get her in trouble.” She’s been right about that far too many times.
  • I over spend and am a slave to debt. It’s why I work two jobs and don’t regularly tithe. I struggle with many sleepless nights worrying about how a bill is going to get paid or how I’m going to meet all the financial obligations I have.
  • I haven’t attended church regularly in two years. I’ve been church shopping and in a season of busyness where I choose to skip church just because I’m tired and want one full day to be home and be still. I also use the excuse that I haven’t found a church I’m drawn to as much as I was drawn to my old church.
  • I’m not always faithful in my devotionals and prayer time. Most days my prayers are more like “oh yeah hey God-I made you last again today but yeah you know I still love ya.” At night, lying in bed my prayers can become obsessive over my own needs and wants, lifetime longings and dwelling on my mistakes that I forget to pray for anyone else.
  • I struggle with lust. I’m single, never married and have two biological children. I’ve lived with more than one man in my lifetime. I’m definitely a modern day version of the woman at the well. …The list could go on and on but I think you get the picture.

For 2018, I am working on allowing God to define me and my character. I have spent far too many years defining my character based on how my critics describe me. One thing God is showing me that I am and am not is this-I am holy and I am not a hypocrite. You see when we give our hearts to Jesus, He covers us in His blood and makes us white as snow (Isaiah 1:18.) We are no longer a slave to sin but we become slaves to righteous living (Romans 6:18.) We are adopted as sons and daughters of the One True King (Romans 8:15.) God makes us holy (Hebrews 2:11).

Guess what the definition of Holy is: “specially recognized as or declared sacred…consecrated…dedicated or devoted to the service of God.” (Dictionary.com) The word consecrated means “set apart” which God shows us is exactly who we are in Psalm 4:3 when David acknowledges that the Lord set apart the godly for Himself. He shows us again in many examples in the New Testament where references are made about being a new creation, made holy and set apart for His glory. Believers whose hearts belong to Jesus cannot be hypocrites. Yes we sin. Yes we have strongholds that interfere with our relationship with Jesus. Yes we don’t always practice what we preach. Paul wrote it best when in Romans he confesses this: “…The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans‬ ‭7:14-20‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

But we are also redeemed by Jesus and saved by Grace.

I urge you to examine your sin life and confess every stronghold you’re still a slave to. Look up and meditate on scripture that may help you overcome those strongholds that make you feel like a failure. Strive for holiness in your daily walk but give yourself grace when you stumble and fall. Don’t lie and especially don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Lastly, no matter how many times you sin today, lay it down before the Lord and see yourself as holy, but never. ever. call yourself a hypocrite.

What if Jesus had Said “No?”

“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭22:42‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Yesterday was Good Friday. All over the world, church services were held to commemorate and reflect on the arrest, torture and brutal murder of Jesus Christ. Scripture tells us crowds gathered crying out “CRUCIFY HIM!”, darkness fell for about three hours, the veil between Heaven and earth was torn, an earthquake occurred and Jesus cried out “It is finished!” giving up His spirit/dying before His side was even pierced. Lots were cast for His clothing and belongings. His body was removed from the cross and buried in someone else’s tomb.

The night before He died, Christ went off into the forest with three of His disciples. He was overcome with such emotion that scripture tells us His sweat was like blood (Luke 22:39-46) Jesus was in great distress. He knew what tomorrow would bring. He knew He was going to endure false accusations, betrayal, chastisement, mockery, being spat upon, flogging, beatings, having a crown of thorns pressed into His head, having nails driven into the bones of His hands and feet and eventually die by asphyxiation. All for nothing He ever did. He knew all of this suffering was for someone else. But what if Jesus listened to His flesh, gave into the anxiety that consumed Him that night and told God “No!” to death by crucifixion. What would life today be like if Christ had never died, had never conquered death and had never brought salvation for all of creation?

Let’s explore this question through the fictitious life of a man named Jess. Jess was a 33-year-old single man. He lived in a simple one bedroom apartment in a largely overpopulated city. The name of the city isn’t important for this story. Jess believed himself to be a devout man of God. He started everyday kneeling in prayer, read his daily devotions and attended church regularly. He was a faithful tither and believed he had a servant’s heart because he volunteered one Saturday a month at the local homeless shelter. Jess believed he was a man after God’s own heart.

One Friday morning, Jess awoke to his usual 6am phone alarm. He quickly rose, wiped his blurry eyes, sniffed to relieve his stuffy nose and groggily knelt down beside his bed. He humbly bowed his head and prayed this simple prayer-“Lord today belongs to You. Whatever you lead me to do, let me do it with an obedient heart.” He said “Amen”, sat down on his bed and picked up his Bible. He read Deuteronomy 8:6 “Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him.” He said “Amen” once again, closed his Bible and proceeded to carry out his usual morning routine. He left his house promptly at 7am to catch the morning commuter train to his office.

As he walked to his train stop, Jess noticed the day seemed different. The sun was just rising and his heart felt full of all the fruits of the Spirit. He even arrived at his stop fifteen minutes early which never happened. He said a quick “thank you Jesus” under his breath for the extra moments in the start of his day to be still. Suddenly he felt a nudge and heard a whisper. “Jess do You love me?” He looked around and didn’t see anybody around. Silently he prayed “Lord is that You or am I hallucinating?” God responded; “Yes-it is I. Jess, do you love Me?” Jess quickly responded with “Yes Lord I love you.” “Then feed my lambs.” Jess looked to his right and noticed a woman with a weathered face, tattered clothing and barefoot standing in the shadows. She looked like she hadn’t showered in a decade let alone had a decent meal recently. The woman made eye contact with Jess and it was as if he could feel her hunger pangs surging through his own body. Jess moved his look away from her and silently prayed “Lord-I can’t give that woman money. You know she’ll just use it on drugs or alcohol. I’d give her my lunch but then I would have to eat out and that wouldn’t make me a good steward of my money. Can’t you lead her to the soup kitchen three blocks away? They have plenty of food to feed her…” His prayer was interrupted by the sounds of a train coming to a stop. Before boarding, he looked to his right again but the woman was nowhere in sight.

Jess’ morning at work was unusually quiet and calm. The time seemed to fly by and soon it was lunch time. Instead of eating, he remembered he had to run to the corner market to pick up a few things he needed for the weekend. It was only a ten minute walk. As he was stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for traffic to pause so he could cross, he heard the Lord speak to him again. “Jess, do you love me?” This time he immediately recognized God’s voice and prayerfully answered “Yes Lord, you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep.” As Jess was about to ask God what He meant by this statement, he was distracted by a man who was walking toward him with his arms full of books, boxes and shopping bags. Just as the man approached the curb Jess was standing on, he tripped and everything in his arms went flying to the left and ride sides of him. Jess felt a nudge to help the man but he looked at his watch and knew it would make him late returning from lunch. The “walk” sign changed and he crossed the street in haste rushing to complete his errand. He looked back only once to see the man scrambling to collect his belongings but not fast enough as traffic had picked back up and items that had landed in the street were being run over by cars and taxi cabs. Jess felt a slight tug of guilt but quickly told himself “that man was carrying too much stuff. He should’ve known better than to try to carry all of that in one trip.”

Jess made it back from his errand with five minutes to spare. He gobbled his packed lunch in record time not even thinking of the hungry woman or the overloaded man on the street. His afternoon distracted him with multiple phone calls and emails along with an expense report he had to complete by the end of the day. When he decided to take a break he noticed it was ten minutes past quitting time. He hurriedly cleaned up his desk and powered down his laptop. He had ten minutes to catch his train that was usually a fifteen minute walk. He arrived at the station just as the train was pulling away. It would be a thirty minute wait for the next available train. He slumped down on a bench, let out a frustrated huff and decided to scroll through his phone to pass the time.

Minutes went by and he heard from the Lord a third time. “Jess Simons, do you love Me?” At this point, Jess felt exasperated and confused. He wondered why God kept questioning his love for the One True King. He even gave his answer aloud this time. “Lord You know everything. You know I love you.” God replied with another one liner. “Then clothe my sheep.” Jess began again to ask the Lord what he meant by this when he noticed a young boy leaning against a post shivering because he had no coat and was only wearing a thin, short sleeved T-shirt with holey jeans. The temperature today had only reached 40 degrees Fahrenheit (4 degrees Celsius) and was expected to drop below 20 degrees throughout the night. Jess looked down at his name brand down filled winter jacket he was wearing, the thermal gloves keeping his hands warm and thought about the expensive stocking hat covering his head. “Lord, please provide warm clothing and warm shelter for that young man” he prayed. The thought never occurred to Jess to give up the items he was wearing on his own back. Jess and the boy made eye contact. Jess gave him a mild smile and boarded his train. He arrived home one hour later.

At home, Jess put away the items he had purchased earlier in the day, fixed himself a simple dinner and watched an hour of TV (more like flipped through multiple channels because nothing really grabbed his attention.) He checker his watch and headed to bed. Lying in bed in the dark, he thanked the Lord for blessing him with a good day and drifted off to sleep.

Jesus met Jess in his dreams. Actually, Jess found himself watching Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, praying the night before he was arrested. He saw Jesus’ anguish, he could smell the salty air of the sweat pouring from Jesus’ brow and he heard the most shocking words he never imagined Jesus would utter. “No God. I won’t do it. I won’t be flogged and crucified to save the world. Adam and Eve should’ve ignored that snake. I have so much more ministry left if You keep Me alive instead of crucifying Me. Abba-I just don’t want to do it.” Everything went dark and the earth began to shake uncontrollably. He felt himself and everything around him being swallowed up by a force so great it felt as though his entire being was overtaken by another life force. Then nothing. It was if there was absolutely no existence. He awoke with rapid breathing, a racing heartbeat and his pajamas soaked from sweat. He sat up abruptly and cried out “Lord? What was that?” But this time, the Lord didn’t answer. He eventually fell back to sleep and wasn’t awakened again until the dawn’s sunlight illuminated his bedroom.

He opened his eyes, blinked a few times from the brightness then jumped out of his bed and knelt before the Lord. “Holy God, forgive me for I have sinned. Please answer me when I ask You, Father, WHAT did that dream mean?”

Then God spoke, “My son, yesterday you told me the day belonged to Me and that you would do whatever I asked of you. Yet three times when I asked you to do something, you told me ‘no’.”

“When did I ever say no to you Lord?” “When you refused to feed the hungry, help the needy and clothe the naked.” Immediate a flashback of Friday’s events flashed through Jess’ mind. He saw the homeless woman and felt her hunger. He saw the overloaded man and heard the crunch of boxes being run over by heavy traffic. His own body shivered remember the abandoned boy with no warm clothing. He felt lowly in his demeanor and sunk his head down. “Abba God, forgive me for being selfish and not obeying you. I should’ve given that woman my lunch. I should’ve spared my time and helped that man collect his belongings. I should’ve hailed a taxi for him, paid for and allowed for him to transport those items in an easier way. I should’ve given my coat to that boy, found out if he had a home or worked to find shelter for him. But what happened when Jesus said ‘No’ to You in my dream?” God’s answer sent chills through every crevice of Jess’ body, mind and even more so, his spirit.

“Beloved, if My Son had refused to die for you, this world and everything in it would not exist. You, would not exist.” That answer kept Jess frozen in a realization of what Christ’s willingness to die for him really meant. It was the exact heart opener he needed to spend the rest of his days serving the Lord with a true obedient heart and never overlooking God’s nudges and commands ever again.

What about you and what about me? How often do we say “yes” to the flesh and “no” to God? How often do we sit through broadway production like Easter church services that re-enact the crucifixion, sing our hearts out with raised hands and shout out a few “amens”, only to later in the week take our salvation for granted and say “no” to God. Thank God for His grace, Mercy and redeeming love. Thank God for His continued forgiveness. For He knows our hearts and minds and He knows ever moment of disobedience we will carry out even before its a thought in our minds. Yet He still loves us. He still protects us. He still sent His Son for our salvation. Thank you Jesus for saying “YES” to God’s plan for His life. Jesus’ YES inevitably is the ultimate factor in what has given you and me this life and secured our enteral life. To that I emphatically say, “Amen!”

Wreck-Less

“The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence.”  Proverbs 14:16 NLT

On a road trip, how many road signs does one follow to ensure they reach their arrival safely?  Some road signs caution people of icy bridges.  Others warn them to “stop”, “yield”, “merge”, “pass with care” and set speed limits according to the type of road one is traveling on.  There are very obvious road signs like “Do Not Enter”,  “Road Closed” or even “Detour” that when followed definitely ensure our safety.

What happens when we don’t obey these road signs?  What happens when we fail to stop, yield, merge, pass with care or obey the speed limits?  What happens if we go the wrong way or travel down a road that’s under construction?  What happens when we drive recklessly?  We get into a wreck injuring/killing ourselves and possibly others.  We damage our vehicles and inanimate objects all because we chose to ignore the signs that would ensure our safety and the safety of others.

There are road signs in life too.  They’re not as obvious or apparent though.  There are no neon blink signs navigating our decision making process but just like on a road trip, if we obey the warning signs, we make wise decisions and reach our life destination unscathed.  If we ignore them, we become reckless like the fool in Proverbs 14.

If life’s road signs aren’t visible, how do we know what they are?  We need to crack open God’s word and study it.  It’s filled with wisdom and warning signs that are created to protect us from all harm.   Those warning signs include protecting our bodies (1 Corinthians 3:16-17), protecting our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), and protecting our minds (2 Corinthians 10:5).  We can also seek out godly advice from spiritual leaders and to always pray for God’s direction and discernment.

But what if we choose to ignore God’s warning signs?  Our lives end up in a wreck.  Some reckless choices to our bodies include being overweight and having serious life threatening health issues.  They can also include unwanted pregnancies, STD’s and soul ties from premarital sex.  Addictions arise from failure to make wise choices and protect our bodies. Reckless damage to our hearts can include brokenness and a hardening because we pursued an abusive or dead-end relationship that God would never have chosen for us or from being unequally yoked to a unbeliever.  Failure to protect our minds can result in wrong thinking, believing the enemy’s lies, and creating fantasies of how life and relationships should be.  Whatever the reckless choice is, you can be sure you will experience a reckless consequence.

Thank God we have a Savior who can turn our recklessness into a life that is “wreck-less” IF we heed to His word.  God promises us time and again that we are to fear nothing because He is with us and He goes before us.  He also promises that if we need wisdom we should ask and He will give it.  (James 1:5) He used many examples through the lives of the Israelites that if they obeyed His “road signs” they would inherit an abundant life and dwell in the promise land.  He repeatedly gives examples in His word of how He redeemed some of the Bible Greats from recklessness and made them wreck-less instead.

When Adam and Eve made a reckless choice in paradise, one their consequences was banishment from the Garden of Eden.  But God didn’t destroy them.  He even made clothing for them since eating the fruit of knowledge revealed to them they were naked.  When Cain killed Abel, God punished Cain but protected him from being destroyed by anyone else.  When David wrecked his life with an affair and murder, God redeemed him and still made him King.   The Old Testament is filled with stories of recklessness, severe consequences, repentance and redemption.  Repentance and obedience are the keys to being redeemed and living a wreck-less life.

What decision are you facing today that with God’s wisdom you can avoid being reckless and severe consequences?  Are you facing a dating relationship and ignoring the nudges of the Holy Spirit telling you they’re the wrong one?  Are you facing peer pressure to try a drug or give up your virginity?  Are you married and being tempted to cheat on your spouse?  Do you struggle financially and dealing with overspending?  Are you diabetic and craving a sugary donut?  Whatever you’re facing-know this, the devil leads us into recklessness through temptation!

The devil is very subtle and crafty with his schemes (Genesis 3:1) and he uses temptation to turn us away from the warning signs God has given us.  He can even distort God’s word to fool us (like Adam and Eve) into wrecking our lives.  God warns us to not be wise in our own eyes (Proverbs 3:7.)  The Bible also tells us to stay alert for the devil prowls around like a hungry lion (1 Peter 5:8).  When we are steady in God’s word and seek His wisdom and discernment we can readily detect the devil’s schemes and avoid his traps before we end up in a wreck.  But we also have to resist temptation.   Jesus, Himself, on the night he was arrested, told His disciples to stay awake and be alert so they would not give into temptation (Luke 22). And Jesus knew temptation.  The enemy tempted Him three times in the wilderness.  Each time, Jesus resisted the devil and the devil finally fled from Jesus (Luke 4). That’s what God calls us to do-resist the devil and he will flee (James 4:7.)  We must also be aware of how he tempts us.  We must recognize the desires of the flesh in order to resist him.  And if we fall, we get back up, repent and become more dependent on Christ to keep us from falling again. We must also STOP falling into his same traps and expecting God to redeem us from a pit we keep jumping in.

“Resisting temptation is so hard” you say?  Tell me about it!  You’re preaching to the choir!  I suffer from retail therapy and overeating.  When I’m stressed out I want to go shopping and buy something that will make me feel better.  I want to overload on chocolate and junk food because it tastes so good while I’m eating it.  But I suffer grave consequences from both choices.  I struggle with both debt and weight issues.  I even struggled with serious health issues until I disciplined myself to cut out foods (including chocolate and caffeine) that I knew were making me sick.

I also know because I’m a single parent-I chased after the wrong relationship.  I failed to listen to the Holy Spirit nudging me to wait, nudging me I was unequally yoked and I suffered severe consequences because of it.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my children for anything-they are the best thing that came from the relationship.  But I suffered tremendous heartache and emotional injury because I did not listen to the warning signs.  And my children suffered from my reckless choice also.

I know recklessness with my body, heart and mind all too well and if my mistake can prevent someone from wrecking his/her life, it’s worth sharing. I also know His redemption and want you to know it too.

The point of today’s blog is this:  If you don’t want to end up in a wreck, obey God’s word, heed His warnings and don’t live recklessly.   But if you, like me, have already wrecked your life, don’t count your life as over.  We have a God who can and will redeem you and turn your reckless choices into a wreck-less testimony.  I know because He has done it for me every day I surrender my ways to His ways and allow Him to transform my body, heart and mind back into what he made them all to be.  He started redeeming me the day I repented.  He’s calling you to repent too.   Repent and forgive and allow Him to redeem you and make you wreck-less too!