beauty

A Prayer to Heal a Delilah Heart

/ LeahDanee29 / Leave a comment

“…You have made a fool of me; you lied to me…” Judges 16:10

Father God, Abba Almighty,

I lift up every woman reading this prayer and ask for Your healing power to penetrate their hearts, minds, bodies, souls and spirits. Specifically, Father, I pray:

For the little girl who was rejected by her own biological parent, Lord heal her broken heart and free her from living the rest of her life as rejected. (Psalms 27:10)

For the pre-pubecent girl who is struggling with her own body image and fears she’s “too fat” to even make friends, Lord heal her broken heart and show her how beautiful she is in Your eyes. (Song of Solomon 4:7)

For the high school girl who has lost her virginity to a boy who promised to never leave but has already moved on to new interest, Lord heal her broken heart and show her how Your love never fails. (Lamentations 3:22)

For the young college woman who is facing an unknown world and struggling to make new friends/connections, Lord heal her broken heart. Remind her that she is never alone for You are always with her. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

For the 25-year-old woman living in a one bedroom apartment, working multiple jobs just to make ends meet, who’s kissed a series of “toads” and wonders if she will ever meet her prince charming, Lord heal her broken heart. Show her that You are her provider and protector always and that Your plans, not her own, define her life’s timeline. (Isaiah 60:22)

For the thirty-something single mom who feels abandoned, alone and that she can count on no one, Lord heal her broken heart and remind her this very day that she can always count on and trust in You. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

For the newly divorced forty or fifty something woman who is once again face-to-face with rejection only this time fearing she’s too old to ever find love again, Lord heal her broken heart. Remind her that she has always been loved by You. (Jeremiah 31:3)

For the sixty, seventy-year-old women and beyond who are preparing for eternity but possibly struggling with regrets, Lord heal their broken hearts. Rmind them of Your forgiveness and fill them with an outpour of grace and mercy so that they may be able to forgive themselves too. (Proverbs 28:13)

For the Delilah within all of us, Abba, that part of us that wrestles with rejection, betrayal, insecurity and fear, Lord heal this part of us and remind us this day that in You, we are accepted, loved, secure, valued and protected. (Ephesians 1:4)

Although our earthly parents may have failed us, we are forever Your daughters and You will never fail us. Where people may fail us, and we may fail others, Your word promises to redeem us and restore all we have lost. Where we have been made fools and lied to, Abba, remind us that You will never put us to shame and that always keep Your word. Free us this day from living as Delilahs, women who are insecure, controlling, manipulative and/or afraid. Free us this day from a victim mentality, believing we will forever be someone else’s prey.

Father God, for every girl, teen and woman that needs this prayer, I ask, that You remove the Delilah heart from within us and fill us this day with the royal tenacity and bravery of Queen Esther, the fervant loyalty and dilligence of Your daughter, Ruth, the courageous leadership of the Honorable Deborah, and the humble and obedient faith of Jesus’ mother, Mary. Daughters of the One true King were not born to live a peasant life. Today, raise each of us up to live Your calling for our lives. We are a part of Your royal preisthood, may we carry ourselves today walking as heiresses to Your royal bloodline. Shut the mouths of the lions whose roar is a mere act of intimidation to keep us small and reduce us to living in a futile state of despair. May we surrender our brokenness to You, Abba, trusting You to make each one of us whole once again.

Lastly Father, for the women who are homeless, behind bars or facing some other “hopeless” circumstance that seems unredeemable, send Your messengers or Jesus, Himself, to speak life, truth and hope into each of these women. Father, as long as we have breath in our lungs, there is nothing within us that You cannot change and there is no circumstance or situation that You cannot redeem. Heal their broken hearts and cover them with the shelter of Your wings. (Psalms 91:4) May they each know and experience, this very day, the power of Your redeeming love and Your ability to transform their hearts and their situations. Meet not only their physical needs of food, shelter, warmth and good health, but lean in and meet their emotional/spiritual needs also. Father, these needs include, freedom from mental illness and/or addiction, healing from abuse and violence, forgiveness of those who have hurt them and themselves and of course, Your salvation. Where restoration of relationships is possible, bring unity. May the trials and testing they are currently face be their breakthrough testimony in days to come.

All praise, glory and honor belong to You, Lord. For hearing this prayer, I give You thanks. For healing our broken hearts, I give You thanks. For transforming our lives, I give You thanks. For making us whole, I give You thanks. For creating women, Lord, and especially for making me one, I give You thanks. For redeeming us from Delilahs to daughters of the King, I give You thanks.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Christ in Me

/ LeahDanee29 / Leave a comment

“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Today I surprised my mom at her church. It was a blessing to see the joy on her face when she saw me. It refreshing to be back in a church. It’s been a bit since I’ve attended. It was also refreshing to see a man I’ve covered in years of prayers. In church worshipping and engaging in fellowship with other believers.

After church I was blessed to have a quick conversation with this friend. He paid me a compliment that’s resonated with me all day. He told me I have a light in my eyes. A light that is life. I’ve been compliment about my eyes many times but no one has ever seen that in them.

My first response was to point out the tired and purple bags hanging from my eyes. He didn’t allow me to negate his observation though. He simply stated he wasn’t talking about what was below my eyes but what was in them. He said he could see Jesus and a love for people in my eyes. When he was finished I responded with a confirmation that I do indeed love people.

What he said resonated with me because Ive never been complimented that way before. But his words resonated me for another reason too. I thought about the times I don’t act loving toward people-the times I lose my temper, grumble, complain, hold a grudge, take things too personally, or deliberately choose to be rude or unkind. I actually thought I was presenting a falsehood to my friend and that I should message him the “real” me. I wondered if in those moments do my eyes show the opposite of life? At my worst, do they exude death?

Tonight, before writing any emails or messages, God led me to Psalm 139. Reading this chapter showed me what God sees in me (and you.) We are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. He made all the delicate parts of us and knit us together in our mothers’ wombs. We are wonderfully complex, a marvelous display of His workmanship. Every moment of our lives has been laid out before Christ before we even existed. Including every bad moment and sinful act we engage in. Yet His thoughts about us are precious! And Isaiah 55 reminds us that His thoughts are not our thoughts-they’re higher than ours.

Today’s conversation was Christ orchestrated for both my friend and for me. God used my eyes to hopefully breath more life into a man who’s felt dead inside for years. But God also used my friend’s words to remind me of who I am in Him.

The next time the enemy tries to define you as anything than who you are in Christ-meditate on Psalm 139 and worship Abba with this chorus from Jeremy Camp:

“So come and empty me

So that it’s you I breathe

I want my life to be

Only Christ in me

So I will fix my eyes

‘Cause you’re my source of life

I need the world to see

That it’s Christ in me

That it’s Christ in me”

This chorus alone reminds us to empty ourselves of all we think we are and fix our eyes on Him-our source of light and life. When we do that, it’s inevitable that others will see His light and His life through our eyes!

Beautiful is a State if Mind

/ LeahDanee29 / 5 Comments

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.”

‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see God’s creation or do you see flaws? If you’re like me you see wrinkles, spurts of gray hair, blemishes, and many lumps and bumps from being slightly, moderately or even greatly overweight. Maybe you even do the whole suck your gut in thing in, buy Spanx or other body shaping items in an effort to smooth our your shape and buy the expensive “perfection” make-up to hide your flaws. But no matter how much you dress up your face and body, when you look in the mirror, if you’re like me, you still see ugly.

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with my looks and my weight. When I was a size 3 I thought I was overweight. In my teenage years I would only eat one meal a day for two weeks just to drop ten pounds. Imagine what my mind thinks being a size 16 now and the discouragement I feel when I exercise but don’t drop even one pound. Honestly, I avoid scales. I even reuse to get weighed at doctor appointments. If I don’t want to know my weight when then it’s nobody else’s business either. Lol I have severe anxiety if anyone wants to photograph a full body pic of me. Most of my pics are selfies because I’ve mastered the right angle to make myself look thinner. I tend wear plus sized tops typically to cover up my Puffy stomach and love handles. I also wear high heels to make me look taller in hopes it slims out my figure. I rarely go out without make-up because I think I look incredibly old and completely unattractive without it. I struggle greatly with seeing an ounce of beauty in myself and hearing it from others is very hard to accept.

Recently I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. One that inevitably could effect my weight causing me to gain more and definitely making it difficult for me to lose any. I’ve seen one specialist so far. It was a disappointing appointment to say the least. I was told there’s no cure and nothing I could to do to get better. I cried a a good stretch of my 1 hour drive home from that appointment. I also prayed. Do you know what I prayed as tears flowed down my face-“God-PLEASE don’t make me fatter than I already am.” I kept saying it over and over again. Weight gain is just one facet of this disease yet to me it’s the only one I cannot emotionally handle. But I am a fighter and I tend to fight harder when someone tells me I can’t do something. So hearing I won’t get better has motivated me to change my diet and exercise more with hopes to prove that doctor wrong. I haven’t gained any weight but I’m confident I haven’t lost anything either.

Yesterday I watched an episode of a 1980’s comedy, The Facts of Life. In this particular episode, Blaire, the girl who prided herself on being physically beautiful with a flawless complexion and perfectly coiffed hair, sustained a head injury in an auto accident. When she saw herself with this huge cut and stitches across her forehead she threw the mirrored tray she was looking into. She saw a hideous disfigured face looking back at her. She later dumped the man she was dating because she felt like she was damaged goods. The man however fought for her. He showed her some silly scars he had gained from injuries throughout his lifetime and asked her if she still loved him in spite of those scars. She admitted that those scars had no factor in her love for him. He reminded her that she was less than perfect before the gash on her forehead but that he loved all of her in spite of her imperfections. Of course in a 30 minute 80’s sitcom there’s usually a happy ending and this episode ended with Blaire reuniting with her boyfriend.

The Lord really spoke to me through that episode. In fact as I was walking down the short hallway in my home I felt the Lord show me His scars from the nails in that were driven into His hands and feet. I heard Him ask me if I still loved Him in spite of His scars. He already knew my answer would be “yes.” I also heard Him tell me He loved me no matter how much I weighed or how flawed I thought my face looked. To God, I am beautiful because I am His princess.

I went to bed last night thinking about self-esteem. I realized our self-esteem is not determined by how others see us or value us. Honestly, I always believed my self esteem was based on the people who criticized me and made fun of me growing up. But that just gave too much power to the haters in my life. Our self-esteem is how we esteem ourselves. I can have ten people pay me ten compliments but if I only see myself as ugly, fat or just plain average, those compliments are wasted words. The opposite of that of course would be esteeming ourselves too high and ignoring those who try to correct our arrogance.

My daughter has referred to herself as “ugly” before and I cringe when I hear her describe herself that way. She is truly one of the most beautiful people I know and I don’t see an inch of ugly in her. But no matter how often I call her “pretty or beautiful”, how I esteem her is superseded by how she esteems herself. Just like the “ugly” I see staring back at me exceeds any compliment anyone ever pays me. Both of us are believing a big fat lie because the truth is-God doesn’t make ugly!

God is not ugly and we are created in His image. Even Lucifer was a beautiful angel created by God. Seriously the being He knew was going to become his number one arch enemy, God. made. beautiful. If God made His enemy beautiful why on earth would He ever make you or me ugly? He wouldn’t and He didn’t. You are not ugly. I am not ugly. We are beautiful daughters and sons of the One true King.

If you’re struggling with feeling fat or ugly, ask the Lord to change your mind and to give you His eyes to see yourself exactly as He made you. Stand on 2 Corinthians 10:5-take captive every thought that is not of Christ (seeing yourself ugly is definitely NOT of Christ), demolish every argument that is against the truth (call the negative voices in your head what they really are-LIARS!) and stand on God’s truth about you. Go out in public without that make-up covered face and let your natural beauty shine. If you choose to lose weight, do it for healthy reasons not just because you think you’ll feel beautiful if you’re a size 10. Take from the girl who used to be a size 3-no matter your pants size, you will always see yourself as fat and/or ugly if you refuse to change your state of mind and esteem yourself. You are worth loving so love yourself enough to see yourself as the beauty you truly are. (And please pray for me to really put into practice what I’ve preached in this post!)