V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! That’s this Christan Girl’s Battle Cry!

March 6, 2023 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory…”

2 Chronicles 20:17 (NLT)

In high school I was a varsity cheerleader. For two athletic seasons per year, I stood on the sidelines of games, dressed in an outfit that donned my school colors and matched seven to nine other girls. We shouted chants, performed stunts, jumps and pyramids, all while our athletic teams battled against their opponents for a winning score. Some games were blow-outs, with our team racking up the scoreboard all night. Other nights, the score ended in our opponent’s favor and we left the game feeling a little less “proud” and definitely not victorious. Some games were hard to watch and definitely hard to cheer for. Those were the games where our players were making error upon error and didn’t seem to have their heads in the game. But nonetheless, when called to duty, a faithful cheerleader can find the perfect words to chant because her job is to cheer for her team no matter what.

Do you know what a cheerleader’s job is not? It’s not her job to step onto the court or the football field and play the game. When the team is getting pummeled by a bigger opponent, a cheerleader cannot come off the sidelines, shove her players aside and say, “You guys stink. Let me handle this. I’ll get us that victory!” A cheerleader is also not allowed to tell the coach what plays to calls. She isn’t allowed to boo her team either! Her only job is to work with her fellow cheerleaders to pump up the team and the crowd and especially to keep the crowd engaged when their team is losing the game. Winning the games is not the cheerleaders’ battle. Those battles belong to the ones actually playing the game. Praising her team no matter their effort is a cheerleader’s call of duty.

We face many battles in life. Battles in life are definitely not a game that most of us would ever volunteer to play. Some battles are meant for us to fight, others however, only God, Himself can fight for us. For example, in the early days of his childhood, my son struggled with chronic ear and sinus infections. I “fought” these battles by seeking medical treatment and following his doctor’s orders. I also “fought” by reading up on preventative measures and the effects of long term antibiotic usage. He underwent minor surgeries having tubes placed in his ears. He also endure allergy testing and allergy shots for seven years.

Yet, my son’s illnesses worsened. A common cold for his body always turned into croup. When this happened he would undergo breathing treatments using a nebulizer machine. This went on until he was of age to manage his breathing with inhalers. Did I mention, he received a life sentence of “asthma” from a pediatric pulmonologist when he was still in elementary school? This came after he had a full blown asthma attack that landed him in the emergency room receiving epineprhine treatment. Sitting by his bedside, I found myself trying to breathe for him. Every breath I felt entering and exiting my own lungs felt useless because no matter how hard I tried, I could not breathe for my own son. It was after his asthma diagnosis that I realized, my human efforts could not heal him. The war on his lungs was a battle only God could win.

For three months, I prayed over my son’s lungs. These prayers were neither prophetic nor extraordinarily powerful. I simply laid my hand on his chest at bedtime and said, “Dear God, please heal my son’s lungs.” If ever I forgot, my son would gently ask, “Mommy, please pray over my lungs.” and I would do so. At his next pulminologist appointment, the doctor stumbled over his words trying to explain the improvement in his lungs. I don’t remember much of what this doctor said except that he informed us we did not need to come back and see him anymore. This doctor couldn’t explain the difference, but as my son and I got into my car to travel home, I reminded him that we knew what the difference was. God had answered our prayers and healed my son’s lungs.

Fast forward ten plus years later. My children are now young adults and my family is once again under attack. I have spent the last four years fighting these battles in my own strength and under the power of my own human will. I have cried myself to sleep many nights. I’ve experienced full blown panic attacks and been hit with moments of unforgiving anger. In the fall of 2021, my prayer life went from superficial to super irreverant. I didn’t ask God for anything. I demanded He give my family justice all the while really hoping for revenge. As situations worsened, so did my prayer life. I pretended to cling to my faith, even professing that God was in control. But behind the scenes, I was telling God what to do, how to do it and when I expected Him to get it done. When He didn’t do it my way, I decided I had to do it for Him. I even listened to Sun Tzu’s The Art of War (2007, AIOS Publishing) gaining much battle strategy to use against the enemies I believed were hurting my family. I lost sight of who are real enemy is.

Ironically, during this time period, I bought a decorative sign for a friend, who’s youngest child had just received a devastating health diagnosis and who’s husband had underwent major heart surgery a few short months later. The sign read, “The battle is not yours, it belongs to God.” I was so hell bent on healing my family my way, I couldn’t even hear God say, “that sign belongs in your house too!” God had to bring my life to a complete halt and walk me through months of isolation and pruning for me to finally be still enough, broken enough and seeking Him enough to hear Him tell me, “these battles are not yours, they belong to me.”

At first, I believed I could easily surrender it all to God, just like I surrendered my son’s asthma diagnosis to Him so many years earlier. However, surrender doesn’t come naturally. Every day I would say I am laying it all down, trusting God will deliver what He’s promised in His way and in His time. Every day I picked it right back up, wrestling with fear, doubt, insecurity, and even anger all over again. Every day, God has reminded me to lay it back down, for the battle is not mine. I can no more breathe for my son than I can redeem my family. Once again, I am walking through a battle that belongs only to God.

When God spoke to me about today’s post, He reminded me of my cheerleading days. I’m a self proclaimed control freak, but not once do I ever recall wanting to run out on the field during a football game, shove the wide receiver out of the way, take the ball from the quarterback and run down the field attempting to make the touchdown myself. I trusted the game to football coach and his players, while cheering them on from the sidelines. I believe God asked me today, “When are you going to let me do my job, trust me with your family and start cheering for Me?” WOW! After spending a weekend battling with angry prayers and doubting God’s promises, He woke me up with a reminder that this season of life, this war on my family, isn’t my fight. Even though I can’t see the battle field, He is fighting for us and instead of complaining and basically saying, “God, you stink!”, He’s asked me to get off the field, trust the game to Him and cheer Him on! In high school, no matter the score, we would yell, “V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! THAT’S THE VIKING BATTLE CRY!” Call it praise or worship if you want, but if God has sidelined you, He’s not placing you on the bench. He’s calling you to let Him fight this battle for you. Your job is to just be His cheerleader and yell, “V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! THAT’S MY GOD’S BATTLE CRY!”

Waiting and Donating

March 3, 2023 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me.” Psalms 69:3

I have a few minor addictions. One is sugar-free vanilla iced coffee from a popular fast-food restaurant. The other is accumulating stuff. Both bring me temporary pleasure that lead to problems shortly after. The coffee-well it’s usually consumed after I’ve already had plenty of caffeine for the day, so it increases my heart rate and raises my anxiety. Accumulating stuff costs money. Not only does this addiction dwindle my savings, it also creates clutter in a house that is already lacking many storage options. That leads to spending an entire day, sometimes an entire weekend, de-cluttering. Which is exactly how I spent part of my weekend a month ago. After cleaning out my closet and dresser drawers, adding to the already accumulated pile on my couch, I loaded everything up in my truck in preparation to donate it all at a local second hand store.

Some mornings, I skip breakfast at home which means grabbing drive-thru on my way to work. Remember that iced coffee addiction I mentioned above, well, it led to me going to that popular fast-food restaurant for breakfast, just to satisfy that craving. I have a 40-minute commute to work. I have to pass this fast-food chain twice during that commute. The first causes me to leave the expressway and drive about five minutes out of my way. The second is located directly across from my job. Of course, for convenience reasons, I choose the latter. Here’s the kicker-that one almost always leads to a very lengthy wait. I’ve sat in that drive-thru for over 20 minutes before. Not because it had a long line either. I honestly don’t know the reasons behind the long wait. I could get frustrated each time, but I choose patience instead. I know at some point the line will move, I’ll get my food and iced coffee and be on my way.

One recent morning the wait in this drive-thru line seemed different. The parking lot was almost empty and there was only one vehicle in front of me. I felt a tinge of excitement believing I would buzz right through the line and get to work earlier than anticipated. After placing my order, I pulled around to the payment window only to find myself waiting for the car in front of me. This vehicle didn’t move for what seemed like eternity. After a few minutes, I put my truck in park and waited even longer. Finally I saw an exchange between the cashier and the customer and the customer finally pulled forward. They promptly received their food and drove away. I thought the wait was over but I was fooled again. For as I pulled up to the payment window, I found myself waiting again. This time for them to process my payment. After watching three other employees gather around the cashier and finagle with the cash register, I could easily draw the conclusion they were experiencing technical issues. Once the transaction finally went through, the cashier confirmed my suspicion. Another short wait, and I finally had my food, including that sugar-free cup of caffeinated addiction that was the reason I chose that specific restaurant in the first place.

Fast forward to the end of my work day on that very same day. I skipped the gym and drove to the second hand store. It took three trips to get all the donations out of my truck and inside the store. It felt exhilarating to unload all that stuff, not only knowing my house was a little less overstocked, but the backseat of my truck was also cleaned out. I thought for a minute how easy it was to unload everything. Although it did take three trips, I was able to park close which meant short walks in between the building and my truck. On my second trip, a woman coming out of the store, carrying a box of her own, stopped just to hold the door for me. Knowing her hands were just as full as mine and she still managed to get the door for me I couldn’t help but appreciate her kindness a little extra. Dropping everything off was also hassle free because no one from the store approached me. I was in and out of the store and had an empty back seat again in less than five minutes.

These things are normal routine moments in life. But today, two things occurred to me that left me asking myself two questions. Why is it, I could wait so patiently in line for an unhealthy beverage that would inevitably increase my heart rate but I am too impatient to wait on God’s timing in certain circumstances? Why also did it seem so easy to unload my “junk” to a second store yet so difficult to unload my burdens to Jesus? I think I know the answers, but I’m not going to write them here. Instead, I raise the same questions to you and challenge you to ask God. Don’t be surprised though, when God gives you the answers, He give you the assignment of a long overdue lesson in waiting also.

A Prayer to Heal a Delilah Heart

February 25, 2023 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“…You have made a fool of me; you lied to me…” Judges 16:10

Father God, Abba Almighty,

I lift up every woman reading this prayer and ask for Your healing power to penetrate their hearts, minds, bodies, souls and spirits. Specifically, Father, I pray:

For the little girl who was rejected by her own biological parent, Lord heal her broken heart and free her from living the rest of her life as rejected. (Psalms 27:10)

For the pre-pubecent girl who is struggling with her own body image and fears she’s “too fat” to even make friends, Lord heal her broken heart and show her how beautiful she is in Your eyes. (Song of Solomon 4:7)

For the high school girl who has lost her virginity to a boy who promised to never leave but has already moved on to new interest, Lord heal her broken heart and show her how Your love never fails. (Lamentations 3:22)

For the young college woman who is facing an unknown world and struggling to make new friends/connections, Lord heal her broken heart. Remind her that she is never alone for You are always with her. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

For the 25-year-old woman living in a one bedroom apartment, working multiple jobs just to make ends meet, who’s kissed a series of “toads” and wonders if she will ever meet her prince charming, Lord heal her broken heart. Show her that You are her provider and protector always and that Your plans, not her own, define her life’s timeline. (Isaiah 60:22)

For the thirty-something single mom who feels abandoned, alone and that she can count on no one, Lord heal her broken heart and remind her this very day that she can always count on and trust in You. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

For the newly divorced forty or fifty something woman who is once again face-to-face with rejection only this time fearing she’s too old to ever find love again, Lord heal her broken heart. Remind her that she has always been loved by You. (Jeremiah 31:3)

For the sixty, seventy-year-old women and beyond who are preparing for eternity but possibly struggling with regrets, Lord heal their broken hearts. Rmind them of Your forgiveness and fill them with an outpour of grace and mercy so that they may be able to forgive themselves too. (Proverbs 28:13)

For the Delilah within all of us, Abba, that part of us that wrestles with rejection, betrayal, insecurity and fear, Lord heal this part of us and remind us this day that in You, we are accepted, loved, secure, valued and protected. (Ephesians 1:4)

Although our earthly parents may have failed us, we are forever Your daughters and You will never fail us. Where people may fail us, and we may fail others, Your word promises to redeem us and restore all we have lost. Where we have been made fools and lied to, Abba, remind us that You will never put us to shame and that always keep Your word. Free us this day from living as Delilahs, women who are insecure, controlling, manipulative and/or afraid. Free us this day from a victim mentality, believing we will forever be someone else’s prey.

Father God, for every girl, teen and woman that needs this prayer, I ask, that You remove the Delilah heart from within us and fill us this day with the royal tenacity and bravery of Queen Esther, the fervant loyalty and dilligence of Your daughter, Ruth, the courageous leadership of the Honorable Deborah, and the humble and obedient faith of Jesus’ mother, Mary. Daughters of the One true King were not born to live a peasant life. Today, raise each of us up to live Your calling for our lives. We are a part of Your royal preisthood, may we carry ourselves today walking as heiresses to Your royal bloodline. Shut the mouths of the lions whose roar is a mere act of intimidation to keep us small and reduce us to living in a futile state of despair. May we surrender our brokenness to You, Abba, trusting You to make each one of us whole once again.

Lastly Father, for the women who are homeless, behind bars or facing some other “hopeless” circumstance that seems unredeemable, send Your messengers or Jesus, Himself, to speak life, truth and hope into each of these women. Father, as long as we have breath in our lungs, there is nothing within us that You cannot change and there is no circumstance or situation that You cannot redeem. Heal their broken hearts and cover them with the shelter of Your wings. (Psalms 91:4) May they each know and experience, this very day, the power of Your redeeming love and Your ability to transform their hearts and their situations. Meet not only their physical needs of food, shelter, warmth and good health, but lean in and meet their emotional/spiritual needs also. Father, these needs include, freedom from mental illness and/or addiction, healing from abuse and violence, forgiveness of those who have hurt them and themselves and of course, Your salvation. Where restoration of relationships is possible, bring unity. May the trials and testing they are currently face be their breakthrough testimony in days to come.

All praise, glory and honor belong to You, Lord. For hearing this prayer, I give You thanks. For healing our broken hearts, I give You thanks. For transforming our lives, I give You thanks. For making us whole, I give You thanks. For creating women, Lord, and especially for making me one, I give You thanks. For redeeming us from Delilahs to daughters of the King, I give You thanks.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Gird Up or Armor Up, It’s Time to Suit Up!

February 19, 2023 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Ephesians 6:11 NIV

A giant poster of a kneeling football player with the face of Jesus looking down on him, hangs in my home. At the top of the poster are the words “Always with you.” I bought this poster in 2021. It hangs in my bedroom, where not all who enters my home can see it, but I am able to see it every day. It’s positioned in a place where, when needed, I can sit in front of it and pray, as if I am sitting at the very feet of Jesus. When I look at it, I am reminded of a few of certainties: God is always with me and He is always fighting for my family. It also reminds me of the war the enemy has waged against all of us and the best way we can protect ourselves is by putting on the full armor of God.

If you’re familiar with American football, you’re aware of the physical battle the game entails. Two teams go head to head vying to move a somewhat egg shaped ball into the end zone to outscore their opponent. If you’re on offense, your job is to protect those who are handling the ball by blocking the opponent. If you’re the ball handler, your job is to trust your teammates are protecting your blindside so you can move the ball out of the enemy’s way. If you’re on defense, your job is to tackle the ball handler and/or attack the opponent’s blindside. No matter which side of the line you’re on, if you’re on the field, you’re playing a game that consists of hard hits and getting taken to the ground. In an effort to prevent injury, players are provided gear that protects vital areas of their bodies. They’re required to wear a helmet, mouth guard and shield to protect their heads, teeth and face. They don padding across their shoulders and chest area that protects their back, neck and sternum. Hip and thigh pads are added to their uniform pants as protection from dislocation, broken bones and/or getting cut. No matter how girded these players are, injuries can still occur. When it happens, players are taken out of the game until they have recovered and are cleared to play again.

The Bible tells Christians about a different protective gear. This gear is not only essential but necessary when dealing with spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare is not a battle in the flesh and blood but occurs in a spiritual realm. It’s a battle for our souls, for our families, for our peace of mind and ultimately, for our lives. Although we may be able to identify a few human enemies in our world, the Bible continuously reminds of a universal enemy. Everyday we are at war and our enemy is invisible. That enemy strives daily to destroy every purpose and plan God designed for us. That enemy even has assignments over us that are centered around keeping us from living our God-given callings. Because we are a hunted people, God calls us to put on His armor daily in order to be protected against the ultimate predator. Although football padding doesn’t fully protect from injury, God guarantees victory everytime we suit up in His armor.

When it comes to the ideology of warfare, Sun Tzu tells his readers this: “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” (The Art of War, 2010, Capstone Publishing) This can look like immobilizing the enemy before they attack or using the power of intimidation to push the enemy away. The Bible, however, tells readers that we are already at war and that we need to dress and arm ourselves for the enemy’s attacks. This is evident in Ephesians chapter 6 beginning with verse 11: “Put on the armor of God…” Throughout the next section of verses, Paul, the author of Ephesians, tells readers exactly what we need to wear. The full armor of God consists of a helmet of salvation, a breastplate of righteousness, a belt of truth, and shoes fitted for the readiness of peace. We are also instructed to carry the sword of the spirit and the shield of faith. Actually, a few translations say “take up” or “hold up” the shield of faith but does the wording make that much difference? I think so.

To carry something, you hold it in your arms or dangle it from your hands. To take up or hold up something you place it firmly in front of you as a preventative measure, similar to a stiff-arm position in football. In an effort to defend against a tackle, a wide receiver may carry the football in his arms but hold up his other arm, directly in front of his opponent. With his hand up and palm open in a “stop” position, the ball carrier is ready to block his enemy. In the same way, when we hold up our shields of faith, we block the devil from every fiery arrow he has aimed at us and our families. Afterall, faith is the our greatest defense against one of the enemy’s best weapons which is disbelief.

It’s one thing to know what to wear, and the weapons to arm ourselves with. It means something different, hopefully something more, when we understand the necessity of both and how to position ourselves for battle. The first piece of God’s armor mentioned in Ephesians chapter six is interestingly, not head gear or shoulder pads. It’s the belt of truth. Now I don’t know about you but when I’m getting dressed, my belt is typically the last thing I put on. Keep in mind, this armor is protective gear worn over one’s clothing, so it’s assumed you’re already dressed. Nonetheless, when suiting up, I don’t think I’d put the belt on first. So why does Paul tell his readers to belt up in truth first? Because he knows the enemy’s first attack typically comes in the form of a lie or some other falsehood.

To combat any lie of the enemy we must be girded in God’s truth. John 8:32 tells us when we know the truth, we will be set free. John 14:6 says Jesus is the truth and John 16:13 assures us that when the spirit of truth speaks to us, it’s not of his own words but what God has told Him to say. Just as a belt is made to hold up a pair of pants, the belt of truth holds us up and keeps us from buckling under the enemy’s lies. In Roman soldier times, the belt was the first article put on because “it held everything else together.” (Brown, G., 2016, https://bible.org/seriespage/23-belt-truth-and-breastplate-righteousness) God’s truth holds everything spiritually together also.

The second piece of armor mentioned is the breastplate of righteousness. A breastplate is made to protect the chest, heart and lungs. These organs are vital to our very existence. Puncture a lung or experience heart failure and doctors have only a few short minutes to repair the damage/get the heart pumping before you’re dead. In the spiritual realm, the enemy attacks this area through our emotions. Ever experience an emotional pain that left you unable to catch your breath or walk through circumstances where you physically felt your heart breaking? It’s an indescribable pain in your chest, a combination of an endless ache mixed with the sharpness of muscle tearing as if the circumstance is literally ripping your heart in half. Then there’s the paralyzing pressure of the enemy’s grip on your heart, squeezing tightly in an attempt to slowly crush it. Something that gets ripped in half is a lot easier to repair than something that gets crushed. Thus, feeling as though your heart is being crushed can invoke a cycle of high anxiety, chest pain and shortness of breath. This means, if we aren’t wearing a breastplate of righteousness, spiritual warfare can come in the form of emotional and physical ailments and they tend to target our most vulnerable and necessary organs.

Now, let’s talk about the helmet of salvation. This piece of armor resonates with me the most. Why? Because I am an overthinker and since a helmet is designed to protect the brain, the helmet of salvation is adorned to protect our thoughts. Just as our brains literally tell the rest of our bodies what to do, our thoughts direct our actions too. A helmet of salvation blocks the enemy from our minds. Confusion attacks when life’s storms blindside us. If we don’t guard our thoughts with the helmet of salvation, our minds will spiral and life altering decisions can be made that bring us no peace but only take us deeper into a world of darkness and confusion. We cannot control every thought that enters our mind but we do not have to entertain, believe or act on every thought either. We should test every thought by comparing it to God’s word. If it aligns with scripture, it is probably from God. If it does not, it’s definitely not from God. In case you’re wondering how to decipher your thoughts better, I believe 99% of our thoughts will either be from the enemy or our own humanness, not from God. God speaks to our spirits, not our heads.

Although Paul doesn’t mention this in Ephesians six , I believe there is one more essential piece of armor. I call it the mouth guard of trust. Our words hold more power than we know. If we speak of despair and insecurity, we will inevitably stir up both inside and around us. Don’t believe me, think of how emotionally draining it is to be around someone who is constantly complaining or speaking doomsday negativity all the time. If we speak God’s truth, we will be able to stand firm against every scheme of the enemy. This is where trust comes in to play. Have you ever felt like you were walking in God’s leading, praising Him for answered prayer only to be blindsided and have the very thing you prayed for ripped away suddenly? If you’re like me, you feel devastated and question if you even heard God correctly. Maybe you beg for God to restore it, or at least explain to you what in the world He is doing only to hear Him say, “Trust in me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Trust is something I have always struggled with. Over the past several weeks, through Proverbs 3:5, God has revealed something to me regarding trust. God doesn’t call us to just trust Him. He calls us to trust Him with all of our hearts. Trusting with all your heart means posturing your own will in full surrender to God’s will because you trust His will is better than your own. This is neither easy nor natural. Especially if, like me, you prefer to be in the driver seat of your life. Trusting God with all our hearts is the equivalent of Peter getting out of the boat and believing he could walk on water. I’m just gonna get real for one minute and tell you that I have no intentions of trying to walk on water. I’m learning to trust God with all my heart, but walking on water was Peter’s gig and possibly not meant for all of us. So if ever there was a “don’t try this at home” disclaimer in any of these posts, it would be right now. Please don’t try walking on water as your method in trusting God with all your heart. Instead, simply pray, “God, I surrender. I trust You, I trust Your ways and I trust Your timing. Even when I don’t know what You’re doing and nothing makes sense, I will still choose to trust You.”

The enemy has waged a war on our lives and our families. It’s time to suit up and put on God’s armor. We have to gird our waists with the belt of truth, guard our hearts with the breast plate of righteousness and protect our minds with the helmet of salvation. To stand firm against all the devil’s strategies (Ephesians 6:11), we must also guard our mouths by speaking our trust in God out loud. We must arm ourselves with the sword of the spirit (God’s word) and take up our shields of faith. For it is faith that heals us and sets us free. Sun Tzu suggests avoiding battles altogether, but God says, the war is already on and already won. Not every battle is ours to fight. Exodus 14:14 is a reminder that God fights for us and we need only be still. He may not call us to fight every battle, but He does call us to put on our armor and prepare for battle daily. Are you willing to do that for your life and your family? I hope so, because whether you want to fight or not, you’re already standing on the gridiron of a battle field.

What’s Your Spiritual Heart Rate?

January 28, 2023 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

My heart throbs, my strength fails me; And the light of my eyes-it also has gone from me.

Psalms 38:10 (ESV)

Yesterday I sat in four hours of training learning how to assess emergency medical situations and provide assistance to those in life threatening circumstances. Topics discussed included, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), first aid and proper usage of automated external defibrillators (AEDs). Although all of the information received was beneficial, the lesson on AEDs stood out the most. AEDs are portable machines that shock a person’s heart. They should be used, when available, during times when a person is displaying symptoms of cardiac distress or is found unresponsive and/or not breathing. When used properly, an AED will guide the person administering medical assistance in the exact steps that include when to apply the pads, when to not touch the person, and if needed, when to shock the person’s heart. Once a shock is administered, the machine then gives an instruction to begin CPR. To better explain how an AED works, I recall the instructor describing it like this: The AED does all the work for you. If you listen to its instructions, you will use it successfully and could inevitable save a person’s life.

This statement made me think of our spiritual heart conditions. What is guiding our spiritual heartbeat and what is our spiritual heart rate? What symptoms do we display when our spiritual hearts are in distress? What can we connect ourselves to when our spiritual hearts need shocked back into the rhythm of God’s heartbeat? When we walk in full surrender and align our hearts’ desires with God’s will, I believe our spiritual heart rate is equivalent to our physical resting heart rate. We feel steady and calm experiencing a level of peace that supersedes human comprehension. However, when we are not aligned with God, or when we focus on what we cannot control instead of surrendering our circumstances to God, our spiritual (and at times our physical) hearts go into distress, racing with worry, despair and confusion. When this happens we don’t tend to turn to the One who created our hearts. We turn to false lifelines like alcohol, medication or other means of escape and temporary fixes. Just like physical cardiac distress, when left untreated turns into full blown cardiac arrest and can quickly become fatal, when we fail to take care of our spiritual hearts, we inevitably find ourselves in a spiritual cardiac arrest also. Spiritual distress can look like an anxious mind and restless spirit. Spiritual arrest is a hardened heart and a bitter or closed off spirit.

CPR and AED techniques are very useful tools in keeping a person’s physical heart beating until they can receive intensive medical treatment from a licensed physician. What tools work to keep our spiritual hearts healthy and/or shock us spiritually to get us back into the rhythm of God’s heartbeat? First, we need to spend regular time in prayer. Just like a human relationship with no communication will not survive, our spiritual hearts need daily communication with God to stay in alignment with His will. Just like routine exercise keeps our physical hearts strong, prayer keeps our spiritual hearts pumping steadily. When we can’t pray, we should ask others to pray for us. Prayer is not only equivalent to chest compressions done in CPR, but moments God speaks to us during prayer is equivalent to the rescue breaths given in between chest compression sets. In CPR, the ratio of chest compressions to rescue breathing is 30 compressions to two breaths. From a spiritual aspect, this could mean we may pray 30 times and only hear God twice. Seeking Him regularly is more important than hearing from Him. Let me say that again. Seeking God is more important than hearing from God. This does not mean we should not seek to hear from God. This just means, God may not speak to us daily but He still requires that we pray daily.

God’s word promises that if we call on Him, He will listen and that if we seek Him, we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:12-13). God does promise to answer us, He just doesn’t always answer us right away or in our timeline. Isaiah 55:8 reminds us that God doesn’t answer us through our own thoughts either. In fact, I believe 99% of our thoughts go against what God actually speaks to us. We hear God through our spirits only and when we speak from our spirits, at least when I speak from mine, it doesn’t ever align with my own thoughts. The next time you think you heard from God, test the word. Is it coming from your own thoughts or are you recognizing it through your spirit? Get out of your head and don’t listen to your thoughts. Instead, quiet your mind and get in tune with your spirit. That’s where you hear God best.

God’s word is also our one part of our spiritual AED. When we open our Bibles, we find them filled with scriptures that direct us, step by step, in every inch of our spiritual journeys. When we get into God’s word daily, we receive His instructions on how to handle every situation we face. Just like the AED guides users through the process of assessing a human heart condition, God’s word guides us in how to assess our spiritual heart conditions also. When we are intentional with applying His word daily, we keep our hearts in perfect rhythm and won’t need to be spiritually shocked. It’s when we ignore His instructions or we don’t read His word that we get out of rhythm and show signs of serious spiritual distress. In these times, we need the second part of our spiritual AED, prayers, encouragement and at times, even admonishment from God fearing and prayer warrior friends.

Just as a person in physical cardiac arrest cannot do CPR or operate an AED on themselves, we can experience times of spiritual arrest and are unable to save ourselves. This is when God sends in prayer warriors and God fearing friends to speak and pray His word into our circumstances. Some battles are just too severe for us to fight on our own. God’s creation of Eve for Adam, and even giving Aaron to Moses and Titus to Paul is proof that He did not intend for us to do life alone. Jesus commissioned 12 disciples because He couldn’t do His ministry alone and He was God in human form yet somehow we think we can handle all of our circumstances on our own. Just as Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold up Moses arms when he was too weak to keep them up on his own, our God fearing friends can be our strength and fight for us when we are too weak or too distressed to pray and trust God to handle our circumstances for us. When we allow others to lean in and walk along side us through difficult times, when we lean on others and allow them to hold us up when we are too weak to carry on, we inevitably are allowing God to restore our spiritual heart rates return back to the rhythm of His heartbeat. If we shut people and God out, we put ourselves at risk of having a spiritual heart attack.

Speaking of spiritual heart attacks, Danny Gokey performs a song called, Tell Your Heart to Beat Again (BMG-Chrysalis, 2016). In one music video of this song, Danny gives an introduction to the meaning behind the lyrics of this song. (https://youtu.be/eUHRDCYnFfg) The story depicts a woman undergoing heart surgery. To perform open heart surgery, physicians stop your heartbeat and have you hooked up to a machine that sustains your life while they operate on your heart. All goes well for this particular operation until the surgeon attempts to get the patient’s heart to beat again. With all medical efforts completed, the patient’s heart will not start beating on its own. The physician finally leans down and tells the patient he’s done all he can do for her, it’s up to her to tell her heart to beat again. Within moments, her heart is beating again.

Listeners of the song lyrics are reminded that at times when we feel shattered, we may go into a spiritual cardiac arrest. It’s in these moments we can be so immersed with pain and grief that we cannot feel God’s presence let alone His comfort or healing touch. These are the times we must be still, surrender our pain to Jesus trusting He is fixing our hearts. But even when Jesus fixes our hearts, if we still hold on to that pain, our spiritual pulses remain weak. It’s in these moments we have to surrender our painful pasts and tell our hearts to beat again.

What’s your spiritual heart rate right now? Are you aligned with God’s heartbeat or are you in need of some spiritual cardiac care? Has Jesus restored you from past wounds but holding on to that pain is making your spiritual heart rate erratic or non-existent? Check your spiritual pulse right now and take the steps needed to protect yourself from a spiritual heart attack. If you’re in a spiritual cardiac arrest, maybe it’s time to make a 911 call to your prayer warrior friends. If you’re holding on to old wounds, maybe it’s simply time to tell your heart to beat again. Whatever the source of your heart condition is, I pray you let God heal you, restore you and re-align your spiritual heart rate to the rhythm of His heartbeat.

A Tornado in a Trailer Park Kind of Faith

January 2, 2023 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.”

Mark 4:39

“You are the trailer park, I am the tornado.” (Yellowstone, 2021, Paramount Network) If you’re familiar with this TV show, then you probably can recall the scene this quote is from. It takes place in season three. This was Beth Dutton’s response to a man named Roarke, after he asks her if she is up for a fight and proceeds to tell her she’s wrong to think she can win. Instead of cowering to this man’s gaslighting tactic, Beth Dutton looks him square in the eye and says, “Right back at ya” and finishes with the tornado line. To this remark, the man turns and walks out of the establishment where this verbal sparring had occurred. This four minute conversation was centered around this man threatening what was most valuable to Beth and her family, land that her family’s entire existence is centered around.

As I rewatched this scene I couldn’t help but liken it to a conversation between the devil and us. If you’re a Christian, you already know that the devil comes to seek and destroy. He studies our weaknesses and attacks us when we least expect it. If he is unsuccessful, he will attack everything/everyone that is precious to us. He is a constant threat to us and to everything/everyone we value the most. Have you drawn closer to God recently only to have chaos ensue or watch a close family member/friend get hit with a major setback or struggle? As you become a mighty prayer warrior, do you find your life getting easier or harder? When you fast, do you get the answers you were praying for, or does the complete opposite seem to happen? For me, it’s the latter to all of these questions. The closer I draw to God, the more I work to grow my faith and dependency on Him, the worse life gets, for me and the ones I love most. I have 47 years of examples I could list, but if I did, this post would turn into a chapter book that read like a pity party. Instead, I’ll just admit that being hit hard and knocked down by the devil, every time I have turned back to God, has challenged my ability to trust God and even question His plans for my family and me. The firmer I dig my heels into faith, the harder I try to deepen my roots in Jesus, the harder the enemy hits also.

When the disciples decided to follow Jesus, I wonder what they thought their lives would be like. If I were walking, in person, with the son of God, fully knowing that He picked me to be on His team, I would have felt invincible and probably a bit prideful. I would’ve taken Psalm 118 verse 6 to an arrogant level. Someone mock Jesus in front of me? Watch out because God is on my side so what could the mocker possibly do to me? Well if you’re familiar with Jesus’ and Peter’s crucifixions, as well as the number of times many of the disciples were imprisoned for their ministry, I would say, our enemy can and does do a lot to harm us and our families. The bigger a threat to him that we are, the harder he fights to interfere with God’s plan and purpose for us. When God calls us to step out or move in faith, even when He asks for faith the size of a mustard seed, He does not call us into a faith that arrogantly believes, but to a faith that is fearless in believing.

Although the disciples believed Jesus was the Messiah, they doubted Him over and over again. This is evident in not one but at least two different storms they find themselves in while in a boat out to sea. The first storm is in Matthew chapter 8. It occurs after Jesus and the disciples have left a large gathering and are traveling by boat to their next endeavor. The storm happens upon them suddenly and while the disciples go into panic mode, Jesus is asleep. The storm doesn’t wake Him up. Frightened disciples do. If you’ve ever been on a boat during a storm, you know how tumultuous the experience can be. The boat and all it is carrying, including its passengers are tossed to and fro. But Jesus was not bothered by the din or thrashing movement of the storm.

The disciples’ doubt and professed lie is what woke Jesus. Professed lie you ask? How did the disciples lie? When they woke Jesus, they yelled; “Lord save us! We’re going to drown!” (Matthew 8:25 NIV) They did not say, they feared they might drown, they professed that they were in fact going to drown. It’s one thing to profess things we fear might happen, it’s another to believe our fears will happen. Followers of Christ, with Jesus physically with them, at the first sign of trouble, believed they were going to die. It’s no wonder some of us have so little faith when life storms disrupt our lives. I wonder how quickly we get God’s attention when we speak lies of defeat into our circumstances? Unfortunately, fear and doubt can be so noisy and consuming that we cannot hear Him rebuke the enemy,

When Jesus awoke, how did He respond? With a calm assurance that told the disciples, “I’ve got this.” Jesus rebuked the storm and mother nature quieted right down. He then asked His disciples why they were so afraid? Where was their faith? But the disciples don’t answer Him, they just marvel at what had just happened and question who He was. They witnessed Jesus perform many miracles firsthand, and yet they still did not always believe.

The first four books of the New Testament give four accounts of Jesus calming a storm. Three of those accounts have similar details, which makes me believe Matthew, Mark and Luke are all recounting the same experience just through a different lens. Interestingly, where Matthew and Luke declare death upon them all, Mark asks Jesus’ this question: “Don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38b). Questioning God’s love for us is another natural response to fear and doubt. When we are in crisis mode, it’s easy to panic and not only doubt God’s deliverance but question His care for us also. After all, if we interpret Jeremiah 29:11 literally, then we presume only good and prosperous things come from God. So if life (or the devil) is throwing some pretty heavy and hard stuff at you or your family, it must not be from God, right? If you can’t see or feel His presence and especially if it feels He is just asleep or silent, it’s natural to ask Him if He even cares about what’s happening. But in each instance, Jesus rebukes not only the storm, He also rebukes the disciples’ lack of faith. It’s almost as if He is saying, “Why are you so rattled? Did you forget who I am? Have you no faith at all?”

John’s account of a storm is slightly different than the other three. Jesus was already in the boat in Matthew, Mark and Luke’s stories. But in John chapter 6, we read that Jesus was not with the disciples when they got hit by a storm at sea. It also happens at night whereas there is one mention of the other storm occurring during the day. When the high wind begins to blow, we don’t read that the disciples called out to Him or professed death over their situation. Instead we read that after they rowed three to four miles, Jesus approached them. How you might ask? He was walking on the water. Once again, the disciples are afraid. But this time, it’s not the wind and waves that scare them, it’s the sight of Jesus walking on water. Still lacking faith in His power, they actually think Jesus is a ghost. They have already seen Him perform so many miracles, yet in their humanness they cannot fathom He would have the ability to walk on water too. Isn’t that true in our own lives? How many times have we seen God move mighty mountains over our circumstances and yet, when He shows up again, we doubt it’s really His hand working? How many times have we given someone else the credit including ourselves because we doubted God would actually come through. Notice the disciples didn’t even cry out for Him this time. They tried rowing themselves out of this storm. How many times has doubt led each of us to say,” God’s not showing up this time, I’m just gonna have to handle this on my own.”? How many storms does God have to rescue us from before we fight our natural instinct to doubt and fear and instead develop a habit of just believing?

Thankfully, Jesus’s response in John chapter 6 can encourage us that even when we doubt that He is not with us, He shows up and says, ““It is I; don’t be afraid.” (verse 20) Just as the disciples were willing to let Jesus in their boat and they were immediately delivered to the land they were traveling to, God promises to deliver us too. Once we let Jesus into our circumstances and believe He will calm the storms of life in His time and in His way, He will take us exactly to the places He wants us and our families to be. Although He delivered the disciples immediately, God’s deliverance in our life storms are seldom instantaneous. So don’t lose heart when you invite Him into your circumstances but they don’t change right away or inevitably get worse before He makes them better. Keep in mind also, that Jesus’ only demand is that we be not afraid and just believe. If you’re wrestling with the crashing waves of fear and doubt, I encourage you to rebuke this in Jesus’ name, call out to God Himself to save you and your family. Invite Him into your circumstances and trust that He will, in His time, rebuke the enemy’s hold on your family, saying “Enough! Be still!”

In the mean time fight your battles through prayer. As you pray, when the devil asks if you’re up to the fight and tries to tell you that you can’t defeat him,, tap into the Beth Dutton depth of your faith and tell the devil he is the trailer park and you are the tornado. Should fear and doubt still try to over take you, as they did to Dorothy, when, in The Wizard of Oz, her entire house was caught up in a tornado (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/MGM, 1939), hold on to your faith, and cling to Jesus, for He is holding on to you and your family throughout every inch of these storms. Always remember, when we walk by faith, not by sight, and the devil rages an ugly storm, we can fearlessly look the devil square in the eye and say, “You are the trailer park, I and my God are the tornadoes!”

Pray. Wait. Trust.

December 31, 2022 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.”

Ruth 3:18 NIV

Waiting-no one enjoys waiting, am I right? I am learning however, that God has called so many of us to wait. We may be entering a new year tomorrow but many people today, the last day of 2022, are filled with unanswered prayers and beginning 2023 with some scary unknowns. Timing, as they say, is everything. A season of waiting right now can especially frustrating, not just because it’s during a holiday season, but it stems right after being locked down in a world pandemic nearly three short years ago. Having normalcy stripped away from all of us and the inability to have any type of stability for nearly two years, left many, myself included, exhausted and if we’re being honest, impatient. To this day, I prefer grocery pick up and drive-thrus over walking into brick and mortar establishments because suddenly the world just got too “peoplely” and I was a lover of people prior to Covid. Add in that this past week was supposed to be a season of joy and being hit with unknowns that rob your peace just makes waiting all the more challenging.

Being called to waiting, especially on the tail end of a world wide lockdown or during a holiday season, should come to no surprise though. I think God’s best endurance lessons come when we can see the finish line yet walk through a season of delays that keep us from crossing it. The Old Testament is filled with examples of God giving people directions/promises and then making them wait. Abraham knew of Isaac 25 years before Isaac was born. David waited 15-20 years from the time Samuel said he would be king to the time he actually wore the crown. Joseph waited approximately 20 years also for his dream to come true. Each endured much hardship, struggle and interruption during their waiting. The world may have been created in six days but most of God’s promises came to pass after very long periods of trials, tribulations and waiting. Even Ruth had to wait for her kinsman redeemer.

Ruth was a Moabite widow, who followed her mother-in-law back to Judah. Although this was her in-laws homeland, this was a strange place for Ruth. Ruth was only married 10 years before she became a widow. In that span she lost her father-in-law and brother-in-law also. Losing a husband and both of her sons, Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, suffered the most. I can’t imagine that Ruth or Naomi realized this loss was leading to a waiting season. But that’s exactly what the rest of Ruth’s story will show us.

While traveling back to her home town, Naomi advises her two daughters-in-law to return to Moab. Naomi is so full of grief that she believes she has nothing left to give either of these two women. Orpah, Ruth’s sister-in-law does go back. But Ruth responds with this: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17 NIV) Thus, Ruth follows Naomi to Judah.

In the second chapter of Ruth, she decides she must go to work. Unbeknownst to her, she happens upon a field, owned by a family member of Naomi’s. She doesn’t apply for a job though, she enters the field for gleaning. Gleaning is not the same as harvesting. Gleaning was done by widows, the poor and destitute and it was an act of gathering the scraps of the harvest the workers did not pick up. Whatever they gathered they could take home. Gleaning was not a job, it was an act of survival. It was also dependent upon the land owner allowing one to glean. On her first day, she meets the owner, Boaz, who extends kindness and welcomes her to continue to glean in only his field. When she returns home with an overabundance of harvest, Naomi is not only surprised but overjoyed learning about Ruth’s encounter with Boaz. Naomi tells Ruth to do as Boaz said and continue to glean only in his field.

Chapter 3 begins with Naomi advising Ruth to show herself available to Boaz. If you look up timelines for Ruth’s story you can presume at least one year has passed from the time Ruth meets Boaz to the time she lays at his feet at the threshing floor. At first read you may think this all happened during the same harvesting season but Ruth 2:23 tells us Ruth gleaned from Boaz’s field until the harvest was finished. Chapter three begins with Naomi telling Ruth to go to Boaz and presumes she will find him in the threshing floor because it is harvesting season once again. If you know how the rest of the story turns out, then you know Ruth obeys Naomi, catches Boaz off guard and then waits one more day for him to negotiate for her with someone else who had more rights to her. When it comes to waiting, Ruth waited over a year for God to redeem her circumstances and restore her family. Ruth’s total waiting, however, was over 10 years because her first husband was not the man she would bare children with nor was he part of the bloodline that led to Jesus. But Boaz was and when Ruth bore Obed, she fulfilled that link in Jesus’ family tree lineage.

None of us should compare our waiting stories to those in the Bible though-at least not the timelines. If God is calling you to wait, as difficult as it may be, waiting will be your best option regardless of the length of time you’re called to wait. The question remains, what should we do in the waiting. Abraham, David and Joseph lived their lives and fought many obstacles during their waiting season. Ruth grieved, went to work and cared for her mother-in-law. Some people believe you should pour all of your energy into praise and worship during your waiting season. Others would tell you to serve God more or do things to better yourself. But God isolated Ruth and at times, He also isolated David and Joseph. So don’t be surprised if God not only calls you to wait, he cancels your busyness and isolates you too.

If you’re a control freak like me, and you center your life around staying busy, you not only dislike your plans being changed but you have no idea how to “be still.” Isolation is not your favorite comfort zone either. If you’re also an overthinker like me, you may deeply struggle with shutting off your brain to even focus on hearing from God. Silence fills you with doubt, worry, and leads to more overthinking. As your impatience grows, you may get one word answers. This is not God being cryptic or playing games. This is simply His way of saying, “wait and trust.”

God’s waiting is never futile and there is always a lesson of trust in every waiting season. Trusting doesn’t always come easy to some of us though. Especially for those who have been betrayed by so many or have accepted the belief that God’s best is the opposite of what we think is best for our lives. To add to it, God doesn’t give us directions in how to trust. He simply just says to do it. Pray. Wait. Trust. Three simple words that are easy to God and nearly impossible for you and me. But, if we, like Ruth, can wait to see what will happen and trust that God is settling the matter, we can find peace to endure the waiting season, no matter how long He calls us to wait.

Feed Your Soul, Not Your Craving

December 31, 2022 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4:14

It’s almost 6:00 a.m. on the last day of 2022. All is quiet in my household and neighborhood. I’ve wrestled with disrupted sleep all week, so of course, I’ve been awake for over an hour. Strangely, I am craving a Coke. Not just any Coke, but the kind made with pure cane sugar. I have not had one in well over a year. Perhaps hearing the mention of this kind of Coke on a TV show I watched earlier this week is what triggered this craving. I don’t have any in my home, and the nearest store I could buy one is at least a 30 minute drive. I tell myself it’s too early to drive to the store, especially just for a Coke. But this craving isn’t going away. I start to think of what I could substitute instead-perhaps a McDonald’s fountain Coke. The nearest McDonald’s is only 15 minutes away. That’s not too far, and since they have drive thru, I could just throw a coat over my PJs, because no one would see what I was wearing anyway.

Alas, I tell myself, it’s too early to drive to McDonald’s also. But I still can’t shake this craving. I think I just need something carbonated and sweet. Then I remember my beverage fridge in the garage. Occasionally there is Diet Coke in there. It won’t have the same sweet taste as a Coke made with cane sugar, but it will be carbonated and taste somewhat like a Coke. It may be too early to drive anywhere, but it wasn’t too early to walk outside to my garage. To my disappointment, there was no Diet Coke in there. There was, however, a 24=pack of bottled spring water that I had just purchased from the store yesterday. I knew water wouldn’t come close to satisfying a sugary carbonation craving, but I resigned to accept that craving a Coke must mean I’m thirsty and water was my only option to quench my thirst. As I took my first drink I knew I was right-my body was indeed thirsty. At 6:04 a.m., the entire 17-ounce bottle of water is gone and my body is still wanting more.

Water didn’t satisfy my craving, but it did settle my thirst. My body needed hydration not sugar or carbonation. This is also true for the cravings in life. There are so many things our natural selves crave that do not feed our souls. Comfort for example, is a craving most desire to combat stress. Various foods and clothing are made for comfort. When we crave comfort, we eat mac and cheese and change into sweat pants. We curl up on our couches and watch our favorite television shows in an effort to get comfortable and rid ourselves from a stressful day. But what comfort isn’t what our souls need? What if the lack of comfort is merely a stirring in our spirit, triggering a soul need, but we feed the craving instead of the soul? When that happens, we tend to have to buy bigger sweat pants. Why, because no amount of comfort food or relaxation will satisfy what our souls need. We can stuff ourselves with indulgent foods that taste satisfying but leave us feeling sick and tired when our bodies start to digest it. The same is true for feeding any of life’s cravings that do not meet the needs of our soul. The woman Jesus encountered at the well, is a prime example.

The woman at the well had soul needs. Her soul needed love and wholeness. But her heart craved lust and a need to be desired. She chased her cravings and ended up in five failed relationships. Jesus knew that about her when he greeted her. He didn’t shame her. He doesn’t even mention these details about her when they first meet. When Jesus first encounters her, He asks for a drink of water. It’s not until the end of their conversation that Jesus brings up her relationship status. He mentions it after he tells her how to feed her soul. Through an exchange about water, Jesus tells her about a living water that when consumed eliminates one’s thirst. Then He tells her to go tell her husband, already knowing she is not married and the history of her five failed marriages. This was His way of showing her that what she was craving was not feeding her soul. No human relationship can feed our souls. Our souls were designed to be fed by Jesus only. He feeds our souls when we soak in His presence and consume His word. If we don’t recognize what our soul needs, we will inevitably be sidetracked with false cravings. Take inventory of what you’re chasing after. If it’s money, power, control or lust, you’re feeding cravings. If you’re chasing after Christ, you’re feeding your soul. Feed your soul, not your cravings.

Sacrificial Love

Featured / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“Abraham answered, ‘God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.’ And the two of them went on together.”

Genesis 22:8 NIV

Richard Bach is noted for saying “If you love someone set them free. If they come back they’re yours. If they don’t they never were.” Although internet investigators cannot substantiate this, they did find a similar quote by Jess Lair (1969): “If you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it was never yours to begin with.” (from the book, I Ain’t Much Baby—But I’m All I’ve Got) This concept of loving something or someone and setting it free forms a belief system based on fate. It’s about as effective as making a wish before blowing out your birthday candles or throwing a coin into a “wishing well.” It’s indecisive and inconclusive. It’s wishy-washy and neither practical nor stable. Love is not something to chalk up to fate, it is a gift and a promise from God. It’s a gift He freely gives but sometimes asks us to temporarily give up. Especially if our love for something or someone exceeds our love for Him or if He is testing our loyalty to Him.

The Greeks describe love seven different ways; eros which is romantic love, philia which defines friendship love, storge is unconditional familial love, agape which is an unconditional selfless love, ludus which describes playful or flirtatious love, pragma which is a long lasting, committed love, and philautia which is self love (from: https://www.elizabethrider.com/7-types-of-love-and-what-they-mean/). The Bible also tells us what love is and what it is not. 1 Corinthians 13 is a famous reading at most weddings describing love as patient and kind, not envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. As the reading progresses we are reminded that love bears all things, hopes all things and endures all things. But right in the middle, just after love is kind and just before love bears all things, is this sentence: love is not self-seeking. Both the Bible and the Greeks can agree on the concept of love-it is unconditional and it is sacrificial. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a glimpse at what sacrificial love looks like but let’s take a deeper look at what it is and is not.

Sacrificial love, is not sacrificing love. It is not falling in love with a person or a dream and then throwing them away to test if the dream or person were actually meant for you. It is not pushing people away because of fear or uncertainty either. In fact, 1 John 4:18 tell us: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Do not run away from or close your heart off to love out of fear or confusion. Seek God’s help in overcoming your fears and allow His love to teach you how to truly love and freely accept others’ love. When we are walking in God’s calling of love, we should experience no fear or spirit of timidity. We should only know His peace that surpasses all understanding. But we know the devil uses fear to jerk us off the path of God’s calling. It’s why we read how “do not fear” or “do not be afraid” is written in the Bible approximately 365 times. That’s a reminder a day for an entire year. (from: https://www.quora.com/How-many-times-is-fear-mentioned-in-the-Bible) When fear rears its ugly head, we need to squash it like a serpent under our feet reminding ourselves that there is no fear in love.

Sacrificial love is not sacrificing all of yourself for your family or dream either. In fact, sacrificial love is the opposite of completely losing yourself. It’s about stepping outside of yourself and sacrificing your own will because your love for God is greater than your love for yourself. Abraham is a prime example of this type of sacrificial love.

Abraham had a dream. All he ever hoped for was to be a father. God promised Abraham he would be a dad but he made Abraham wait 25 years before keeping that promise. Abraham trusted God but had a few moments of doubt during his time of waiting. Can you blame him? How many of us could believe we heard God correctly if we were still waiting on Him to keep His word for that long? At one point, Abraham tried to manufacture his own miracle having a son with Hagar, his wife’s maidservant. But God told Abraham, Ishmael, his son with Hagar was not the son God had promised him. Instead, Abraham’s wife Sarah, at the age of 90, would bare a son whom Abraham was to name Isaac. Did you know the name Isaac means “laughter”? Interestingly, both Abraham and Sarah laughed when God reminded them that Sarah would have a baby because they thought they were too old to be parents. How many of us, who have been waiting on God to fulfill His promise are at a point of that kind of laughter? More interesting than that is the fact that God’s covenant with Abraham, was the very definition of laughter. This tells me that God’s dream for you and me involves laughter too.

Isaac, not Ishmael would be God’s covenant with Abraham. God kept his word, and Isaac was born. Special note, God didn’t forget or throw Ishmael away. In spite of Abraham playing God by having a son with Hagar first, God still blessed Ishmael, making him fruitful and increasing his numbers. (Genesis 17:20) I believe God’s care for Ishmael shows that He will redeem any circumstance or at least uses every circumstance for His purpose, even when we get in His way and try to play God in our own lives.

The birth of Isaac isn’t Abraham’s story of sacrificial love. If you are familiar with any Sunday School Bible story, then you know what happens next. As if Abraham waiting on God for 25 years didn’t already show his trust in God’s word, God tests Abraham’s faithfulness too. He calls Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. (Disclaimer-this took place a bazillion years ago BC. Sacrificing children now is not only illegal but NOT at all what I believe God would ever call any of us to do. In other words, do not try this home.) Now I don’t know about you, but if I waited 25 years for God to fulfill His promise to me, to fulfill the one thing my heart truly desires, then turn around and say, “sacrifice if for me” I’d respond like cousin Eddie from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (Hughes Entertainment, 1989). Only instead of saying, “Are you serious, Clark?” I would ask, “Are you serious God?!” To add to this, keep in mind Abraham had no warning, just a sudden calling from God to go and sacrifice the very promise He had waited on God to fulfill. Raise your hand if you don’t respond well to anything that happens suddenly, especially if you’re left feeling turned upside down and blind sided. Picture me typing with one hand right now because I’m flailing the other one up in the air.

Abraham however, doesn’t question God. The next day, he takes his son, a donkey, a few of his servants and all he needs to build an altar and heads up the mountain with an obedient heart. Can I stop here for just one moment? The Bible I read leaves no mention of what Abraham was feeling or thinking during this time but I can imagine Abraham was full of anguish, perhaps even a hint of confusion or despair. If nothing else, this had to be breaking Abraham’s heart. I point this out because I believe questioning God’s calling, especially when it feels contradictory to what we know He promised us is a natural human response, just as anguish, confusion, heartbreak and/or despair would be natural human feelings to process. I don’t think it’s a sin to feel any of these emotions. Sin occurs when we lose faith and allow these emotions to redirect us instead of walking in obedience with God. This could look like telling ourselves we heard God wrong or choosing a substitution to sacrifice instead. Abraham could have woke up the next morning and told himself he dreamt the whole thing or he could have convinced himself getting rid of Ishmael and Hagar, something he had already done, was what God really meant. He could have even tried to have another baby with Sarah and use that child as the sacrifice. Instead, he chose to obey and God honored his obedience by sending a substitution and sparing Isaac’s life.

Abraham’s story has an example of another sacrifice, which is Sarah’s sacrifice for Abraham. Women of the Bible were known to see their identity and worth through their ability to bear children. If they were barren they viewed themselves (and society also viewed them) to have little to no value. A moment of transparency, God has gifted me two children. Both of which I call my miracle babies because my chances of having them were lower than the average healthy woman. After having them, continued complications led to surgery that removed any chance of me ever bearing more children again. Like Sarah, I too, struggled with my identity as a woman, questioning my worth and my value after I could no longer bare children. I had to allow God to redefine me and show me who I am in through His eyes to be free from those thoughts and feelings. In the Bible, the barren ones would share their husbands with their maidservants and fulfill their identity through their maidservants’ children. Another disclaimer: this is not a socially accepted practice today nor am I recommending it. Why? Because, as in Sarah’s situation, this brought about jealousy and only increased the barren woman’s insecurity. Anything that brings about jealousy or insecurity is not a form of sacrificial love. God will never call us to make a sacrifice that creates either. God’s calling may hurt, and we may not want to let go of what He’s calling us to sacrifice, but just as He provided a ram for Abraham, if His calling is only a test, I believe He will provide a substitute sacrifice for you and me too. It will never leave you feeling jealous or insecure.

God put sacrificial love on my heart this morning as I was praying over circumstances beyond my control. As I poured out my heart out to Him today, I found myself asking Him to help me let go of my own pain and heart’s desire in order to focus on what really needed to be pray for. God called Abraham to sacrifice what he loved to prove to that he loved God more. He may call us to do the same. Sometimes, God isn’t calling us to let go, but His test may be to loosen the grip on what we love in order to trust Him more. Loosening our grip can be just as painful as letting go but as God showed me today, obeying Him and praying for His greatest good, in spite of our own pain, is a true act of sacrificial love. As you prepare to celebrate Christmas this weekend, reflect on the greatest sacrificial love of all-Mary gave birth to a son. A son who, 33 years later, demonstrated His great love for all of mankind by dying on a cross. While reflecting on this, don’t forget, even Jesus questioned God’s calling for this great sacrifice. Just before He was arrested, alone with His thoughts and two of His disciples, He prayed-““Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42 NIV) If God is calling you to walk in sacrificial love, I think it’s ok pray this very same prayer-Lord, take this cup from me. Yet not my will but yours be done. Remember this-a sacrifice is not a closed door. Abraham did not loose his son. The world did not loose Jesus. No sacrifice that God asks you to make will leave you empty. When the time is right, God will provide the ram to replace what He called you to sacrifice and let you keep all that He has promised you. Perhaps sacrificial love isn’t about sacrificing at all. Perhaps it’s merely walking in love, trusting and obeying God, no matter what He calls us to do.

A Playdough State of Mind

March 6, 2021March 7, 2021 / LeahDawnRoot29 / Leave a comment

“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand” Isaiah 64:8 ESV

“You’re overthinking too much!”

“You should think before you speak!”

“You’re too lazy!”

“You work too much!”

“You’re too serious!”

“You’re too immature!”

“You’re too stubborn!”

“You’re too much of a doormat!”

“You’re too uptight!”

“You need to be more serious!”

“You’re too overweight!”

“You’re too skinny!”

“You’re….You’re….You’re…” I hear this contraction every day. The ending varies depending on who is speaking to me but nonetheless, everyday someone feels compelled to define or correct me. It’s rather ironic because for the past year I have become more aware of feeling completely invisible to most people-yet somehow I am noticed, daily, for what others think they need to change in me. What’s even more ironic is the “You’res” that are pointed out to me are the same characteristics or personality traits I can see in the “potters” in my life. In fact, they’re common characteristics in most people. Yet for some reason, people feel compelled to point them out mostly to me. These “You’res” are flaws I am already hyper aware of and don’t need others to remind me of.

People that know me best define my “You’res” as “being human.” Those two words are the best grace someone can speak to me. It’s the kind of grace that brings about a relief that allows me to let go of every baggage of insecurity I carry around, even if for only a brief moment. Imagine holding your breath daily, being told you hold your breath too much and then having someone say it’s ok to exhale. That’s what hearing “you’re just being human” feels like to me. It’s physically feeling lighter, emotionally feeling worry free. But that same baggage gets is overloaded with anxiety whenever I hear someone else speak another “You’re too….” to me. It’s heavy baggage that leaves me physically and emotionally exhausted. It’s another day of simply holding my breath once again.

Three “You’res” that have hurt me the most are: I am “too dramatic”, “too sensitive” and “too argumentative.” To overcome these I have become a stonewaller. When I hear these three (or anything similar), I will shutdown, cry behind closed doors and allow my accuser to “be right” before I will defend myself, show that my feelings were hurt or display any reaction that could feed someone else’s already misguided opinion of me. Why? Because in my 40+ years of life I have learned that defending myself gives ammunition to my offender, showing emotion reveals weakness and arguing is simply an exhaustive waste of energy. Right or wrong, stonewalling has my coping mechanism.

But what does stonewalling have to do with playdough? The Bible tells us that God is our Potter and we are His clay. We are playdough that is ever changing and ever moldable. Our own insecurities mold our thought processes, reactions and confidence (or lack thereof.) Others’ opinions of us mold how we interact with them. For example, yesterday, after walking in a spirit of defeat, feeling like I was striking out all day and fighting the urge to just sit the bench for awhile (and drying lots of tears ensuring no one else could see them), I thought to myself, “I feel like playdough.” I wake up everyday with a heart that is open to being molded by God. I have prayed (not daily as I should) for God to use me as He sees fit that day. Before I leave my house though, my own insecurities have remolded the image God made me to be. I change my outfits at least four times settling on what I feel the least “frumpy” in or what I think hides the extra pounds I can’t seem to get rid of. I apply four layers of make-up to hide the damage of not wearing sunscreen in my twenties and the natural wrinkles that most women my age have also developed. I style my hair to cover up the grays no hair dye will hide. Then I face a day where others opinions reshape me once again. By the time the day ends I feel like a blob of clay that is imprinted with knuckles from sometimes harsh words, negative interactions, somebody’s lack of patience (or my own), and failing to meet my inner drive for perfection. So many days I fall asleep with anxiety over everything I did wrong or heard I did wrong that day. Even when others compliment me, one person’s “constructive criticism” will be the instant replay I allow to mold me. We are all ever changing, ever being molded by God, ourselves and others.

What happens to playdough if it’s not cared for properly? It hardens and can no longer be molded. If we aren’t careful we too can harden. Hardening to others’ opinions of us can sound like a wise choice in setting boundaries and protecting ourselves. My coping mechanism of stonewalling is a form of hardening. But the fact is, it can close us off to hearing others correct us in love. I will admit I have been guilty of this. Thankfully, because I can overthink things, I am able to process when my stonewalling is in fact setting a boundary and when I have alienated someone who was speaking the truth in love. When the latter happens, as hard as it is for me to admit I’m wrong, I will seek forgiveness and work harder to listen with an open heart. That’s a time where I let the Lord mold me again. Anytime we are humbling ourselves to seek another’s forgiveness is a moment when God is refining us in His image.

Another form of hardening that is a dangerous level is when we don’t allow God to mold us. The bible warns us that when that happens, “…he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.” (Proverbs 28:14b ESV) Another word for calamity is disaster. Hardening our hearts to God=GREAT DISASTER! I could list so many scriptures to back that sentence up but this post would never end. Instead I will say if you don’t know this concept already, read your Bible, google verses about “great disaster” and calamity and see for yourself just how damaging life can be when we the clay stop allowing our Potter to mold us. Just as playdough cannot form itself, we will remain a useless blob if we don’t allow our Potter to form us.

But back to the “You’re” phrases. Are you told you’re “too sensitive”, “too strong-willed”, “too perfect”, “too flawed”, “too lazy”, “too hardworking”, an “overachiever”, “overthinker”, “overweight” or some other “too” “over”, etc.? You know what you really are? You’re extra! What does that mean? It means you’re guacamole. Guacamole comes from a hardened avocado after it’s softened and hand smashed. Seasonings are added to give it just the right amount of flavor. If you’re extra, that means God has taken your hardened heart, softened it and added just the amount of pizzazz to make you fabulous. Some people will love you, some people may hate you. People that love guacamole always want extra and those that love you are gonna love all the extra fabulousness inside of you too! God is our potter, we are His clay. Let God keep molding you and embrace your extra! After all, in the book of Psalms, David reminds us we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made.” We can’t get anymore extra than that!

	Kim Petitt on While You’re Waiting…
	A Shepherd's Heart on Debunking Boaz
	Danee on Debunking Boaz
	A Shepherd's Heart on Debunking Boaz
	Danee on Debunking Boaz

	Kim Petitt on While You’re Waiting…
	A Shepherd's Heart on Debunking Boaz
	Danee on Debunking Boaz
	A Shepherd's Heart on Debunking Boaz
	Danee on Debunking Boaz

I Am Not Delilah

A woman after God's own heart defeating a Delilah spirit, one blog post at a time…

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! That’s this Christan Girl’s Battle Cry!

Waiting and Donating

A Prayer to Heal a Delilah Heart

Gird Up or Armor Up, It’s Time to Suit Up!

What’s Your Spiritual Heart Rate?

A Tornado in a Trailer Park Kind of Faith

Pray. Wait. Trust.

Feed Your Soul, Not Your Craving

Sacrificial Love

A Playdough State of Mind

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